Grumpy
Richard III's body was found buried under a car park in Leicester. He died in 1485. The 1st modern car was invented in 1886 by Karl Benz. Why did they have car parks 400 years before the car?.
So the festive season has been and gone. I trust everybody had a blast and Santa brought appropriately extravagant presents for one and all.
Just had a very enlightening refs period in the nick sat with a few of our community support officers.
Most of the people on here from the uk will be aware of the incident in Manchester where 2 female police officers were taken from us this week.
When I went down to the bikes the following day Martin and Dave were nowhere to be seen. On checking their room it became apparent they had left the pub at 2am to continue drinking in the hotel bar.
Got back yesterday from my charity ride to Budapest. We completed the challenge, all 1276 miles of it, in 23 hours 59 minutes. On the way back we had a detour through Slovenia, because we felt like...
It's been a while since my last entry. Been an extremely busy few months with the Olympics, dance festivals (blog to come!)and planning for this years charity endeavour.
So far it's been a treat. Never thought I'd say that but I've really enjoyed it. Some observations- The New Zealand v Netherlands women's hockey match, great game with an added plus side.
Decided to get a bus to the cinema today. Haven't been on one for many years. Owning a car it's much more convenient to just jump in the motor and park next to where I'm going.
My wife has 2 degrees, she's extremely well educated. This is a true conversation from earlier today- Wife- where's this match. Me- Kiev Wife- is that in Spain.
Working nights on my patch, as I've mentioned in previous posts, is often a time to see quite odd people and their fashion mistakes. Tonight, I have seen something I've never encountered before.
Asked my personal fitness trainer how long I should take to recover between sessions. Apparently I should be ok with 7 years..
Is there anything that sums up society more than a Macdonalds full of men and children but no women on this day?.
Never having known my father. Today I celebrate 'drunk bloke in the back of a ford Capri day'.
Not one of mine but worth sharing. Dear Connie I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our 'cooling off' period but I couldn't wait anymore.
I'm loving all the hullabaloo surrounding the relay type thing. We had it pass through our area the other day.
If nothing else, tonight has taught me that English men cannot look cool in shorts and English women cannot avoid the velociraptor walk in their enormous heels. Chaps, try a pair of linen trousers.
Not all people missing from homes are 'missing.' Take tonight for example. First job of the night is a report that a girl is 'missing from home.' Briefly, this girl argues with parents quite a lot.
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Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
Irish bloke moves to a new retirement home and starts drinking in a local boozer.
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From an old email- Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.
I visited a young 'lady' on my patch who has 6 kids, all girls. I had to fill a form in and was surprised they were all called Beyonce. 'why would you do that?' I enquired.
Why do I insist on constantly returning to the refrigerator hoping that beer and edible food will have unexplainably materialised?.
After doing this job for so long, I feel obliged to pass on some of the wisdom my clients possess when it comes to relationships.
Who's clever idea was is to put the letter 's' in lisp?.
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt And sense of betrayal were overwhelming.
A blonde goes to the Post Office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in America." The clerk says it will be £100, and she replies "But I don't have any money....
Do not try an athletic hop over a 4 foot metal barrier. Your wrists and face will not thank you in the morning. 'play' fighting with your friends will not endear you to the 'ladies'.
Forgive the self indulgence of the following. Most of you will not be aware of the financial and political attacks on the office of constable by this government of ours.
One of the things you can guarantee will happen when patrolling the night time economy on foot is that a drunken comedian, usually a woman will ask to wear your helmet or have a picture taken with...
You called us Yes What can we do for you Nothing Then why did you call us Cos he said I wouldn't dare But why did you call us. We were having a row What do you want us to do.
I may be in trouble. I've emailed the stalking helpline 72 times in the past 2 days.
For advice on stalking and harassment call police on 0800 999999 but don't call more than once...,.
Dyslexics are teople poo.
Night shift. Hyped up on briefing getting set to go catch billy burglar. Double espresso with sugar cursing through the system just to keep the edge. Car thief on the prowl.
You’ve got to respect the Chinese - they can get their kids to make soft toys with enough consistency to start a commercial venture.
With the invention of the deep fat fryer with thermostat it's unfortunate that technology has curtailed natural selection..
I've made it crystal clear to my son that he is in big trouble if I ever catch him disrespecting any bitches or hoes..
Bring back the cane in school. No kid was ever traumatised or had long term mental scars from being caned. That is, unless the caner had a boner..
My wife complained that I'm prone to exageration, I nearly tripped over my cock..
When people ask how I manage to keep such a beautiful wife happy I tell them I use 3 little words on a regular basis- ro, hip and nol..
Skyped the mother in law. Pretty weird. 1st time on a webcam without masturbating. When I say without masturbation, I mean to completion..