P Is For Persona

I learnt the alphabet with my best friend
I learnt it when I was ten
I didn't know it in English
Others laughed
She taught it to me
And so many other things
I sill remember her voice singing the song
The letters ringing out in my mind
She was there for me when I needed her
And so A is for Alice.

I've always been an outcast
A soul split by borders
Cuts of coloured cloth excluding me
It was hard for them to accept
I've always wondered why
It's been a big part of my life
To fit it
To be loved back
Sometimes I feel so alone
I try to hide my creativity
To fit in
And so N is for Neglect.

The sky has been an inspiration to me
Living in the country
Deep darkness above me
Cold
Clusters of hope shining down
It inspired me
Made my dreams a refuge
A constellation taught to me
My favourite book at the time had given it a name
For that O is for Orion.

My parents won't divorce
Or separate
I try to love both
But how to love fire with water?
One always puts the other out
I can't
I sometimes wish for separation
Like those thousands of times I was
Separation is pain
Do I really wish them that?
Should I be loyal to one or the other?
I'm self centred
Though I don't hide the hatred for my self
I still feed the monster inside me
That's why S is for Selfish.

I'm very insecure
I don't have much self esteem
I hate reading my own work
My own poems
My own stories
I need people to remind me of who I am
Why I am
And why I should carry on being
I would be nothing without them
It's only appropriate I say so
R is for Reliance.

E is for Emergence
When I found my self
Put aside the hate
The lies
I discovered the power in words
A grain of sad now grown into a pearl
But sill dark
A dark pearl
But a pearl none the less
I swore I'd change the world
Will I keep that promise?

The final letter in me
The facade I create
When I meet new people
At school
In the street
I hide who I am
Because I'm scared of being judged
Of being abandoned by friends
I remind myself of Alice
I think of the Neglect
I picture Orion
I curse my Selfishness
And despise my Reliance
But thank my Emergence
And that's why
P
Is for Persona.