Texas Girl (Pt 38)

Whoa. Just... Whoa :0

WARNING: More swearing. More good reasons.

Drew's POV
I wandered carefully around Justin's bedroom, looking over every little detail. I wasn't snooping. Unless you count looking around the room whilst he's in the shower and has no idea as snooping.
Ok fine. I'm snooping. But it's really interesting in here.
I sat down at his desk, staring at the pictures plastered to the wall. I recognised Pattie, and a man that was probably his Dad. There were a few of him as a youngster with two elderly people - his grandparents - And loads of him with two other boys. One had blonde, spiky hair and blue eyes. The other had shaggy brown hair, with hazel brown eyes to match. Best friends? Most likely. The goofy, care-free grins on their young faces told me they were close.
I stood from the desk and wandered over to the open wardrobe. I swear this boy has some sort of v-neck tee disease. Still, they look incredibly sexy on him.
Speaking of incredibly sexy. Justin's low, husky chuckle hit me like a ton of bricks. I spun around and saw him standing in the doorway in only a towel. Wow. Water dripped down his chest, clinging to every prominent line of his muscular torso. His hair was messily smoothed back, as if he'd quickly run his hand through it, briefly glancing at his own, perfect reflection in the mirror.
"I don't think that one would suit you" he chuckled, walking into the room and coming to stand next to me. I blushed. "Nothing worse than being caught snooping" I sighed, closing the wardrobe. "It's ok, if I were you I'd want to perv on my clothes too" he smirked.
"I wasn't perving. I was just... Admiring" I stuck my tongue out, remembering the defense he had used when I had accused him of the same thing.
"Yeah you were so perving" he nodded, a huge, smug smile on his face. "Alright I was, but you have to forgive me".
"Why's that?".
"Because you love me?".
"You'll have to try harder than that".
I stepped closer to him, placing my hands on his soaking wet shoulders. "Because I'm your girlfriend" I tried again.
"Not good enough" he teased.
I pushed my body up to his, making him grin as he enjoyed my advances. "Because you can't say you don't want to kiss me right now" I whispered sexily, my breath brushing over his lips, I was so close. "I'm not even going to try" he smiled, before taking my hips in his hands and pulling me tight to his dripping chest.
Our lips touched gently, before merging together in a deep, sensational kiss. His hot, wet lips brushed over mine, sending warmth through my veins and butterflies through my stomach. My hands grasped at his warm neck, tugging him close and at the same time deepening the kiss. Our lips moved in perfect synchronisation, as well as our bodies, Justin leaning into me in an attempt to get our lips closer and tongues entwined. His hands roughly handled my small frame, gripping tightly onto my hips and keeping me close to his warm, muscular body.
I loved it whenever he got carried away. He'd hold me too tightly, forgetting how fragile I was, kiss me over-whelmingly, forgetting how young I was, and explore my body quickly and precisely, forgetting how inexperienced I was, and the worst part? I loved it. I should tell him to stop and just take it slow, but really, I didn't want to. I liked how rough he got, and how he'd find a new way to make me nervous every time. It was nice, being what he wanted. Even if I was nowhere near what he usually got. It made me feel like I was properly his. Nobody else could have me.
He pulled back, head low to look in my eyes (No, I have not grown at all. Shocker), chest heaving from so much passionate intimacy. He looked like he was going to say something really meaningful and loving, eyes serious and caring, when a smirk broke out across his face. "I gotta get dressed" he chuckled, ruining the moment completely. "Why have you got to get dressed?" I furrowed my brow, running my hands down his warm, taught arms. "Well, unless you want me to go to the supermarket in a towel, I need to put some clothes on" he smiled softly, holding back another laugh.
"Why'd you have to go to the supermarket?".
"Because we have to eat".
"Why?".
"Because we have to live".
"Can't we just live in your room forever? We can live on Xbox games and your never ending supply of v-necks" I pleaded for him not to go. When he did this to me, he'd usually say stuff like "Marry me and we'll live on..." blah de blah de blah. You know that? His signature romantic thing? Well, turns out, when I try it, it doesn't work one bit.
"I gotta go" he sighed, smoothing his hand over my cheek, before stepping away from me. Is it wrong for me to feel totally rejected right now? I stood and watched as he pulled black jeans and a black and white check shirt with a grey hood out of the wardrobe, along with boxers and his white Supra trainers.
He turned to me, staring expectantly.
"What?".
"I've gotta dress".
"You want me to shut my eyes?" I teased him, thinking he was joking.
"Uh, no. Can you go for a sec?".
"Justin I've seen you naked before. Or do you not remember?". Oh. Oh crud. Wrong words. That came out sooooo wrong. Please god don't let him think I meant it that way.
"What's that supposed to mean?".
Oh god he thinks I meant it that way.
"I didn't mean it like that".
"You didn't mean it like what? Like I still don't remember the first time we had sex? Is that NOT, what you were implying? Because that sure as hell is what it sounded like".
"I... I don't... I'm... No but-" I stuttered, not really knowing how to reply. I'd forgotten how to make an actual sentence with my brain. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it that way, I swear" I managed to choke out through my confusion.
"Bullshit. We both know how you meant it" he spat, before throwing the clothes on in front of me.
I thought of saying something again, something to try and make him understand that it was an accident and I was over that whole "We had sex and you were too drunk to remember it" thing. I was. I didn't care any more. In fact, it made the time he did remember it so much better.
Ok, they don't need to know the details Drew, moving on.
Justin began walking away from me, and I called after him "Justin, where are you going?" I asked, following him out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He stopped at the front door, taking his car keys off the table. "Maybe I'll go get drunk and have meaningless sex with some stupid girl and not bother to remember it" he snapped at me, abruptly opening the door, not bothering to shut it as he stormed down the steps.
My heart snapped as his tone had, a lump forming at the back of my throat, tears coming to my eyes. I stepped out of the door, yelling after his retreating figure "Maybe if you're lucky I won't be here when you come back!" I cried as he reached the range rover. "I honestly don't care. Do what the fuck you want" he called, briefly turning back to me.
I don't know why I said it, but I did. My heart just told me I should. "I never should have trusted you! We're over" I screamed at him, making him stop in his tracks. He froze as he opened the car door, before being the self-obsessed, prideful idiot he was once more. "Fine. I never loved you anyway".
I think somebody just shot a glass window pane.
Oh wait no, that was the sound of my heart shattering into a million tiny pieces.

I stood on the porch for ages. Waiting for him to come back so I could... I don't know. Just do something. Slap him. Kiss him. Love him. Hate him. Anything. I just wanted some sort of reaction.
It must have been around eleven thirty when Pattie came out, taking a seat on the top step beside me.
"Hey" she smiled softly as I shivered from the cold of the night. Ugh, that's a horrible breeze. "Did you hear?". I didn't need to specify what. If she had, she'd know what I was talking about. Still, I wished she'd say no. "Yeah. Yeah I did" she mumbled quietly, staring down into her lap. I kept my eyes glued on the road, my broken heart doing flips every time a car passed. It didn't even have to look like Justin's car. If it had four wheels and an engine, it could be him.
I don't know why my heart was flipping. Sometimes I'd feel like I hated him so much, my heart would flip with anger, and others, I felt like I loved him so much it would flip with pure passion.
"He didn't mean what he said, Drew. He does love you. I guarantee it-" she began, but right now my heart told me I wasn't in the mood to be consoled.
"I don't need your sympathy. Couples argue all the time. Then they become ex couples. Like me and him. It's over. Done. End of" I muttered, rubbing my arms from the cold.
"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have broken up with you".
"It doesn't matter. I broke up with him. I don't love him anymore".
"Then what are you still doing out here Drew? It's midnight and you're waiting for him in the freezing cold. If that's not love... Then I don't know what is" she sighed, before kissing my head, getting up and leaving me alone once more.
I don't love him. Not anymore. Not after what he said to me.
Pattie's words echoed through my head. Why am I still here then? Why don't I get up and go home? I literally have no other reason to stay. Wait, yes I do. My house is a crime scene of my childhood rapist. That's why I'm here.
Why are you outside then Drew? Why are you sitting out here in the cold when you could be watching a rom-com with Pattie?
Fine. I'm going in.
I stood from the cold concrete floor, turning to open the front door when the sound of Justin's range rover stopped me. I turned slowly and watched him pull up and switch the engine off, music dying on an abrupt note. He climbed out of the car, swirling his keys around his index finger as he walked up the steps to the house, eyes on his Supras until he reached the top step.
"Drew..." he said, totally emotionless. "What are you still doing here?" he furrowed his brow, not bothering to ask about the prominent salty tear stains on my cheeks. "Well, my dead rapist step-father is lying in my yard, surrounded by CSI, so it's either here or there" I said sarcastically, narrowing my eyes menacingly.
"And you chose here?" he sighed.
"Oh trust me it was a tough call" I spat at him, before opening the front door and walking inside. He followed behind me, locking the door after us. "You know we have no guest room. If you want to stay we have to sleep in the same bed" he stated, entering the kitchen behind me and tossing the keys down on the kitchen table. "Suddenly the Ranch doesn't sound so bad" I sighed over-dramatically, walking over to the fridge and beginning to search it.

Eggs + Ham + Cheese = Omelette

I took all three ingredients out and placed them on the counter top, noticing Justin standing casually by the oven. I returned to the fridge, looking for something to drink.
"So where did you go?" I asked nonchalantly.
"Thought you wouldn't care".
"Oh I don't". Lie.
"Sure about that?".
"I couldn't care less". Even bigger lie.
"Alright. Fine. But remember, you asked..." he began, breathing deeply. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a smirk on his face. "I went out to a club, found a girl, went back to hers and we had sex" he shrugged.
What? What did he just say? "Are you serious?" I slammed the fridge shut, turning to face him. Is he joking? He can't be serious. He just can't. "Yeah. I'm serious. You broke up with me, right?". Oh my god. I don't believe this. I cannot take this right now.
"Yeah but-".
"But what Drew? You having second thoughts?".
"Not anymore. Thanks for reminding me that you're a total ass" I spat, walking towards him as we got in each other's faces.
"Oh yeah I'm the ass. Because I'm the one that can't let go of that one stupid little time I was drunk. You were allowed to get drunk one night! Why wasn't I? It's not my fault you were desperate when I was hammered" he retorted, making wild movements with his arms.
"Oh fuck you Justin, you know what, fuck as many girls as you want. I couldn't care less what you do. As soon as the cops clear my yard, I am out of here" I spat back, trying to contain the tears.
"Oh thank god. So you are going to leave me alone long enough to get dressed then?". Ughhh.
"I didn't think it mattered! I thought you loved me".
"Guess you thought wrong".
"Guess I did".
"I think you should sleep on the sofa tonight".
"I'm the lady, you sleep on the sofa".
"You're not a lady you're a skank!".
Ok, I can't hold it anymore. A tear escaped my eye as I swiftly looked away from him. He'd won.
"Congratulations Justin. You broke my heart three times today. That's a new personal best" I let the tears fall freely, walking slowly away from him, I didn't even have the energy to sweep out dramatically to make him feel bad. All I could do was slink off into the bathroom, staring at my crying reflection in the mirror for hours and hours on end, trying to stop the tears long enough to go out there again. I couldn't do it.
I could hear Justin outside, I could hear him practising what he was going to say to me when I came out. Things like:
"I'm so sorry Drew, I didn't mean it. Any of it. I do love you and I want to be with you".
"Look, you're not a skank, I was just angry and....".
"I screwed up. But I promise you I never, ever will again".
I sat leaning against the door, listening to every version of apology without him knowing it.
It wasn't the words themselves that made me want to forgive him, it was the pure effort he was putting in. I could picture him in my mind writing every one of them down, so when he pitched it to me, it would be word perfect. He tried and tried, over ten times, trying to find the right way to start and the right way to go, but he just couldn't do it.
No matter how much I longed to cry and fall right back into his arms, I was too strong to let him just say a couple of words, give me a couple of looks and win me back.
It didn't work like that.
If he wanted me back, he'd have to work for it. And with the damage he'd done to my heart, it'd take a god damn miracle.