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Captive

There is a knife
deep in the engine that
pumps my blood
My heart
it's own destructive
beats the rhythm of loss
I peer into the mirror to find
a distortion
of my own image
My eyes float around the room
like two ships lost on the sea
and I know
the exact measure
of my captivity
This pain has an operatic grandeur
Smoky circles of thought
attempt to combat the fog
and seek out
my polestar

I will not be placated, by the mechanical motions
of existence
as all around me are
criminally irrelevant
My hands are nailed, one
to love
and the other,
to pity

I wanted you-
you are the one I picked in the world
But still, you hover around
your murder
And I cannot call you to
finish the kill
but neither
can I revive you.

You are not here.

Fly10

@Fly10

Just here to test the experience..

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Comments & Feedback (30)

@fly10 This is sad, but lovely:)

@SianRLD Thanks for the comment. It's about a clash of emotions-knowing what you need to do in order to move on, but not being quite capable of executing it. I hope that came across!😉

Why did smelly leave? That's a bummer. Seems unnecessary

@ckahn I don't exactly know, but I think it was the constant sniping & brazenness of Aleisha. He'd hoped that reporting the three(known) pieces of work she'd plagairised, would warrant more direct action ie removal from top spot as a bad example, at the very least. He then found out she had multiple accounts (Damianblack?!) & had been liking/commenting on her own work! I think that topped it. The boss has shut both accounts down & as you prob saw in his post, has stated the a no tolerance policy now in place. Really hoping Smelly will come back when it all does down, particularly now he's been exonerated so to speak. He took a lot of flak in trying to expose a fake. Sorry state of affairs 😔 Hopefully all will move on now, but at per my post, just be wary! There's been several suspicious 'new' members!! 😣

Had an interesting conversation with durolu. He's admitted to doing the same thing. Copying lines and calling it inspiration. He flat out said he doesn't see the problem with that. Floored about Damien. On a brighter note. Seems like smelly is hanging around

Check out toulboxes piece what's been going on for the conversation I'm referring to

@ckahn Doesn't surprise me re Dula

@ckahn I already had my suspicions re Drlo as he protests a little TOO loud, a several of his posts didn't flow right when compared to other areas of work. Even now he's backing her, despite the truth coming out, which also didn't make sense. I think there's a contingent of people (a lot of whom were following her) who seem to be doing the same. Don't know if you saw my comments on a few posts, re the incident with another member last night? Posted an entire poem as her own, & then several respected members innocently reposted it while showering her with praise...all of which she lapped up. I just don't understand why people keep doing it? I have to say tho, in many cases it's easy to spot. Just hope post from the boss stops it! 😉

@Fly10 no, who was it?

Duro is rationalizing it by saying that every idea or line has already been written. What some people will tell themselves to justify their behaviour : p

@ckahn Well that's crap & I hope he gets caught out. Can't really put name of who it was here as it'll flag up. I'll find a post name instead & that'll lead you to author. It came up on my feed as a repost & it was fairly obvious to me it was a copy when I compared it to the rest of their work (which I always do). I found original author & poem on Poemhunter. I commented in feed as to where she got her inspiration & how similar it was to one I'd found...minutes later my comments & the post disappeared😠

@ckahn search under post 'fast food'. There are two & it's the girl.

@ckahn Just read the feed you quoted-the Rebecca girl? I was watching her & the conversation with Aleisha ystday & I actually think its her-I really do. The only other person 'they' were conversing with was D.Black. The comments she's making now are SO obvious. What do you think?

Yeah, I checked her out couple days ago. I felt like her banter in the comments section was very similar to Aleshias

@ckahn It's def her. I've reported the whole thing now & the boss can sort accordingly. DLro is either stupid or disillusioned re his understanding, but needs to be told. I haven't mentioned you in any shape or form😉

Yeah I checked her back posts. It's fairly obvious. An now, I must get going! Gonna be late for work!😱 have a great day!

@ckahn You too 😌😚

Oh dear. Smelly fingers giving me the cold shoulder. Hope he recovers soon.

@ckahn How so? Only just logged on properly, so haven't read thru everything yet 😌

@Fly10 oh, I've made several comments on different posts. Used to always get an acknowledgement but he's silent as a church mouse. Must've done something to irk him. Ahhh well, hope it blows over. Ipuss too although that one I'm not sure I trust

@ckahn I def don't trust the I.Pss so with you on that one. Re fingers, that's strange. Maybe he only saw a few of your more 'peaceful' comments & assumed, wrongly, that you condoned some of the behaviour. One look at feed on Tool box post would confirm you're very much against it! I'm sure he'll get over it, but if not, I'd be tempted to ask him outright & clear the air. If you get a chance, look at Rebecca. Visible (no space inbetween names) If that's not Aleisha, I'm a monkeys ass 🐒

Thanks for advise. We'll see what happens. I agree about Victoria. Hope we're not wrong and giving her cold shoulder erroneously. Although her posts are a bit too negative for me anyway.

Hey, how's your sister with the foster child situation?

@ckahn Just seen fingers reply on last

@ckahn Just seen fingers reply on last post-perhaps he's mellowed? All appeared well. Re sister, all still rumbling on. Her foster son's real mum cancelled contact for 3rd time on the trot, which hasn't helped him. She only sees him for two hours every four weeks in supervised contact, & he can't understand how she can't manage that. Sad part is, she's had another baby & it seems social services are more intent on supporting that, than the welfare of the kids she already has. Ironic, as it looks as if the baby will be removed anyway, as she's still an addict😞 My sis persevering nonetheless at mo, as feels he needs her more than ever. I just wish she could get decent support-some of the professionals she has to deal with are great, but there are far more that seem clueless! Thanks for asking 😘

@ckahn P.S Re Rebecca, I've asked boss to look into it. Her comments re potential racism against colour today, I think are purely designed to gain attention & gain unrest. We don't need any more of that 😠

Best to your sis and God bless her. Yes, maybe smelly is thawing. If he didn't respond to my last comment I was going to take your advise. Time for me to get out this bed and get my day started! Have a great rest of your day!

Oh, I didn't see that but I tend to agree. She burst on the scene so strongly negative it seemed contrived for attention. Have a great day!

@ckahn You too! 👋 ☀

Oh, regarding your post you n me. I'm waffling right now. See my post bound eternally which (and I'm not advertising this) is aimed at vikinghorn, my hubby. Not advertising cause it feels a little weird people knowing my personal posts are about someone on here

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