Me my thoughts and my life xxx
I was getting there. Loving you was easy. Then my head became queasy. Your past haunts me. You won't let it go. I opened up gave you my all. Only to see it fall. Never returned.
A distant memory. Of how you came to be. So precious you are to me. I was taken. Not my choice. I locked myself in my. Immature mind. Protected from the. Brute force of the salivating beast.
Standing at the edge. The edge of madness. Not knowing if I should dive in. The pool of blackness beckons me. Not a ripple to be seen. To dip a toe. Skim the surface with my palm. I don't know.
My little brother. So special was he. Born starved of oxygen. He never uttered a word. Didn't need to you see. The eyes I read now so easily. Nineteen years he grew so tall.
That's it I'm broken. Tried my best. Gave it my all. Placed my heart in your hands. Only to watch it fall. You held it so close. Then loosened your grip. Through your fingers it slipped.
Yes that's me. Dragged between mummy and daddy. The little girl lost. So scared and alone. Did you not notice. What you'd both done. The shouting. The fights. The screaming all night.
I hold you up in the highest esteem. Proud to be part of your life. But what Morsel do I receive. I battle daily with my own low self esteem. Only sit and dream of what could be.
Dress me up Strike a pose Bend me this way and that Change my hair Change my face Standing in a corner In darkest lace I'll model for you in the nude I'll be your latest muse MANNEQUIN.
Sad inside. A little sad inside. Do my best to hide. A smile on my face. A big cheesy grin. A laugh out loud. To disguise the pain within. To feel loved back. Would appease me. Lift me up.
The back of of beyond. I scream I shout. Let me out. Isolated right here right now. Trying harder than ever to break out. The back of beyond is without doubt the loneliest isle of all.
D - day Stomach churning Throwing up Head pounding Fingers crossed I gave it my all Sold my soul To try and reach my life's goal Do they want me .
I didn't know. Accepted you the way you were. I didn't know until I saw the others. Just what went into making a mother. You were mean you were cruel you were an exception to the rule.
One day you'll notice. One day you'll take note. Of how freely I give my heart to you. Of how much I care. Of what I go through to be there.
Fluffy thoughts making me smile. The thought of you so far away. These fluffy thoughts keep sadness at bay. To think of you arms encompassing me chasing shadows away. Gleeful inside bubbling away.
You see me. You know me. Open and alive. Pulsating with desire. For you my love you see why. I am transparent. You see my chest heaving. My breath taken away. This feeling rising. Right through me.
The orgasmatron Comb and climb on Come and taste the delights to be held You can wriggle and giggle To your hearts delight The orgasmatron can last all night Wow what a ride I don't want to stop.
To see the sunrise on a brand new day, will lift your spirits all the way. Up to the sky and far away to soar above and fill your soul, with all the light you need to grow.
I'm digging a hole. To hide from you. I don't know what else to do. I'll try to hide, from your constant abuse , but it's still no use.
They flow so softly. My tears. Not heard. Not seen. My teardrops fall onto my cheeks, creating shallow streaks. They won't stop flowing. Just keep on coming. Secretly and silently.
The next step is mine to take. The first of many. My decision, My turn, My way, Too many years have I not made the decision. Which path to go Been bullied going this way going that.
I've always felt like a square peg. Never quite fitting in. It pains you for years. Figuring out. What life's all about. Trying to feel a part of it. But you just don't fit.
I love my rose tinted glasses So I can ignore all the arses Trying to bring me down You will not make me frown My life is a gift I can see What's our there just for me My rose tinted glasses Let me...
In my minds eye. I know where I want to be. A model of productivity. Going here going there. Going every where. Up the ladder. To god knows where. The tip of the iceberg. I can see.
Open up I say. Let me in. This time is wasted. Keeping me guessing. Open your doors. Reveal what's inside. A heart pulsating I have to decide. Are you true or are you a fool.
Locked in. The prison of my mind. These bars I cannot break through. Trapped alone with nothing to do. Swirling with thoughts to scary to share to. Dark and morbid. I look for the flare.
We lay there intertwined. Our bodies laced together. Making a whole. Two hearts pounding. After the love they have shown. Relaxing into those loving arms. I now know what it is to feel at one.
The air is silent. The night is still. As I walk home over the hill. I open the gate to the grave yard. An owl hoots a couple of times. Then the clocks deathly chimes. Twelve in all.
Bursting with love am I You know that you are my all Never a truer word said Here now That I love you with all I know how.
I lay broken this is it. Finally snapped you've done this. My love I had to give. Was not returned. Burned out put out I lay here spurned. So self absorbed you didn't notice.
I laid it bare for all to see Just what I felt inside of me You took no notice didn't care There was I laid bare Open heart overflowing All I got was a foreboding A feeling deep inside that love...
Last night I hit it!. Rock bottom , lower than the low, in the middle of a cold wet muddy field ready to end it, How did I do it . How did I get here alone in this field to ponder my life's end.
Black , eyes wide open Not a thing to see. Blackness had swallowed me. My thoughts of doom had filled the room. A scream arises from deep inside, a noise I could not hide.
I love you. Have you not noticed. This pulsing heart has not rested. The feeling in my soul is so strong. I don't know if I can go on not knowing if there's a glimmer that will make you also simmer.
It began with a glance, a look absorbing all that was in front of me. Then a gentle touch on my sleeve a hand brushing mine.
The pain when it dawned that my love was not reciprocated was tremendous , it tore at my very being it tore my heart.
Special Intelligent Bright Beautiful Awesome Wonderful Clever Loved Artistic Imaginative Unique Attractive Desirable Wanted Incredibly sexy You are a glass half full ..
A heart full of love just has to be shared to be appreciated . An shared heart just grows and grows..
My children My life My proof of living The purpose of me My carbon.
My heart is mine to give. I share my heart with all my loves. I give my heart to my lover. These small pieces of me I give freely. To share is to grow.