Today I feel just sad.
Or maybe blue.
But something feels just hollow.
The reason is not concrete.
Though I am sure that I feel this way.
It hasn't crept up.
Or sprang in with a surprise.
It is just there.
Or just here.
Happy to hang around.
I am sad because I think.
Though I know that I can stop.
Thinking.
Not the blueness, sadness.
I think....
No more tiny babies in our family.
We have had some.
Not another bump.
No daughter.
No exciting positive.
I think...
Everybody is older.
I am.
What am I doing?
Who am I?
When will close ones be just too old to go on?
Surely I am not that grown yet?
I think...
I am tired.
Of working all week.
Not at home.
But racing to meet targets from on high.
Tired of the meanness of our world.
Tired that love is not enough.
I think...
Of friendships lost
And broken hearts made by cruel words and jealousy.
From girls who once were like blood.
And I think...
I should be thinner.
I could be better.
I need a hug thats real.
I am just sadly blue today.
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