The Early Bird

@TheCookieMonster

I like being weird. Weird's all I've got and that's my sweet style!.

@Mr_Coolio

A where ma keys, a where ma phone….

@Zorua101

Clouds

Every cloud has a silver lining... That's why I don't recommend travelling by air..

@sjwijaya

I Don't Give A Crap

Take it up with my butt. He's the only one that gives a crap. - Peter Griffin, Family Guy.

@faruc

Bro Code #20

A bro respects all his bros in the military because they've selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass six ways to Sunday..

@hallofrumors

Facebook Ate My Homework

Teacher: Where is your homework. Student: I uploaded it on Facebook and I tagged you in it..

@hallofrumors

The Idea From The Meeting

Sometimes, I'll stand up in a meeting and say, "You just gave me an idea!" Then I leave the room, drive home, and go to bed..

@RDE

Madagascar

Private the Penguin: Skipper. Shouldn't we tell them that the boat is out of gas. Skipper the Penguin: Nah. Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. [all four penguins waving].