Soak
Celebrity Big Bather. Episode 1. Johnny Vegas has a nice warm bath while listening to Chaka Demus and Pliers..
4
0
19 words
MisterBenn
Photographer, doodler and hairy-faced buffoon. See my photo stuff at misterbenn.co.uk.
48
Stories
88
Followers
Stories by @MisterBenn (48)
Jokey
Two parrots are sitting on a perch, and one says 'can you smell fish?'.
6
0
14 words
Top 3 Favourite Bands
Gastric Rubber Of Brothers..
4
0
4 words
40 Facts About Me
Number 16 : All my leg hairs are called Stephen Hughes..
0
0
11 words
No Use
Jennifer Lopez cannot spell the word 'genuine'. So it's lucky she has no use for it..
0
0
16 words
Slow-mo
Jurassic Park 4 will be a 90 minute slow-mo shot of Hugh Hefner getting out of the bath..
2
0
18 words
Simile
Stonehenge is there but we don't know why. Like Danny Dyer..
8
0
11 words
Film Idea
Young lady loses her replica art gallery, then finds it again. How Stella Got Her Louvre Back..
2
0
17 words
Horoscope
Aries - today you will rely on a star formation to dictate your day..
2
0
14 words
Bad Move
My best mate just caught me groping his wife. The rest of her funeral is gonna be very awkward..
2
0
19 words
Aggro
Got caught bullying a condiment. They charged me with aggravated a salt..
2
0
12 words
X
Simon Cowell's new show will find the best company to crush a piece of farm machinery. The Tractor Compacter Contractor Factor..
0
0
21 words
Puzzle.
Which of the two pound signs below is hardest to find. £.
0
3
12 words
Dirt
Onion ring. Great snack. Terrible porn star name..
2
0
8 words
Cheaper Sequels 2
I Know What You Did Last Somerfield. eBaywatch.
0
0
8 words
Vegetable Songs
Let it Pea Smells Like Bean Spirit How Can We Be Lettuce If We Can't Be Friends?.
0
0
17 words
Gassy
My bum gas is created by Dan Brown. Not a lot of substance but what is there absolutely stinks..
2
0
19 words
Letters
I'm allergic to the letters e, o, i, a and u. I've got irritable vowel syndrome..
4
0
16 words
Searching
Just googled my name and got a live cam of me sat on the sofa in my pants..
4
0
18 words
Horror Movie Survival
Do not sleep anywhere near a camcorder..
2
0
7 words
Hammer
I went to an MC Hammer exhibition today. It wasn't very good, I couldn't touch anything..
4
0
16 words
Just A Tip
Apparently Autoglass don't like being called out to fix a scratched iPhone screen..
10
0
13 words
Bon Jovi - My Life
Bon Jovi's Autobiography. Excerpt One. Woke up needing a poo. Had a poo. Washed my two beautiful hands..
2
0
18 words
Ice Twice Baby
From the Holy Church of V. Ice. 3 steps for success : 1. Stop. 2. Collaborate. 3. Listen..
8
3
18 words
Great Shot
Gary Barlow has a pair of eyes where his testicles should be. Unable to make babies he can urinate through a keyhole from 26 feet..
2
0
25 words
Prawn
Just got a loada pictures of small sea creatures with really hard centres. Accidentally googled 'hardcore prawn.'.
2
2
17 words
Movie Idea.
Inspector Squirrel 2 : Where The Nuts At?.
0
0
8 words
Wood
Jesus, though being a carpenter, now has very mixed feelings about decking..
4
0
12 words
Old Celebs.
OAP Diddy Granny Lennox Henry Wrinkler.
2
0
6 words
Fame.
Just judging my celebrity status on how many photographers are hiding in my privet. But there's just a cat having a big shit..
2
0
23 words
Religion Condensed.
'Woah that looks like fun. Stop doing that.' - God..
6
0
10 words
A-Team
Murdoch always carried eggs and milk. Because Hannibal loved it when a flan came together..
2
0
15 words
Piped
James Corden's toilet is piped straight to a specialist facility designed to dissolve weapons of mass destruction..
2
0
17 words
Humid.
Just threw my dehumidifier in the bath. Sort that out ya cocky little bugger..
10
0
14 words
Bing Bubbles
Just did a fart in the bath that sounded like Bing Crosby ordering a burger..
2
0
15 words
Helping Hand.
Never trust a wet door handle..
10
2
6 words
Cakey
James Cameron makes over-priced blueberry cake. Avatart..
4
0
7 words
Bath water.
Lady Gaga's bath water has to be removed by 5 Swedish gravediggers..
4
0
12 words
Del Toro
Benicio Del Toro looks like Brad Pitt's reflection in the back of a spoon..
8
0
14 words
Morgan Freeman Vs The Porcelain
Heard Morgan Freeman pooing earlier. It sounded like an angry buffalo in a vat of custard..
4
0
16 words
Celeb Facts No.1
Oprah Winfrey gaffer tapes bricks to puppies and kicks them in the river..
4
0
13 words
Meat-based Action Movie
Steaks On A Plane..
16
3
4 words
Song Idea
Lionel Richie to record song depicting the intricacies of being vegetarian. "Halal, is it meat you're looking for?".
8
1
18 words
A Cheaper Sequel
Stuart Lidl.
8
0
2 words
Deleted Scene No.2
"I don't care what Ziggy says Al, I am not going to fondle that old man" Quantum Leap Deleted Scene.
4
0
20 words
Deleted No.1
"Uncle Albert, you know you're not allowed within 50 yards of a primary school." Only Fools and Horses Deleted Scene..
2
0
20 words
M. Night. Shyamalamalamalan
He took a dump in my garden today. I knew it was him because it had a shitty little twist at the end..
4
0
23 words
Adrien
Adrien Brody's nasal hair is 14 feet long..
4
1
8 words