Raised by a pack of insatiable badgers, I was forced 2 hunt 4 scraps of sinclair zx spectrum tape. Eventualy 1 day I had finally collected enough tape 2 make a game “The Dizzy Willy and his adventures in Frogger Batmans Barbarian cave” was complete and ready 2 play. Much 2 my dismay the ZX in the Badgers warren had been baited by some unruley country folk and battered with hammocks leaving it with the functionality of an Amstrad. I wrote 2 Sir Clive Sinclair to tell him, he replied with a turnip.
And the award for hangover of the year goes to.... Nick Brown "Thank you so much everyone its such an... Such an honour to... Blurghhhh" / Throws up into the tuba in orchestra pit..
Dear Jim'll fix it During the 90’s I wrote to you to fix it for me to spend a night with a hooker, which you arranged with great vigour.
The old ones are always the best. Chuckles Wayne Rooney to himself as he goes to pick up another hooker..
Sid squirrel was too excited to sleep, the package that he had ordered of the web was due to arrive this very morning.
Looking deeply into the black abyss that was the night from the train, Nick pondered to himself an important question "Should Nick stop referring to himself in the third person?".
Hands up who likes Katie Price. Let's see... just one hand, get your hand down Katie your not allowed to vote!.
People of this great nation and Swansea, I am writing to you all today with great news.
Where does everyone stand on the homeless. I tend to go for the chest....
Hi. I said What's up. She said My penis... I said Nurse!!. She said That was the last time I was allowed in the old folks home..
Real life has its physical boundaries, head one direction and you will eventually end up where you started, the mind has no such boundaries.
Tim sits motionless in his seat looking mournfully at the plate of food before him. For the 40 years they had been married Sarah had always served a poached egg with toast for breakfast...
On the bus, without a fuss. For once on time, to quick to whine. The seats all smell and it's hot as hell. Plus it makes me feel sick and the chavs get on my wick.