Dreamcatchers
A Dreamcatcher is a device designed to take away your dreams. In this sense it is much like a spouse, or permanent employment.
14
2
310 words
RichNeville
Writer. Illustrator. Author of Catbin Fever. Catbinfever.com Harpurger.com
15
Stories
15
Followers
Stories by @RichNeville (15)
Husk
If you find a dried humanoid husk in your wardrobe or loft, check the face. If it matches yours, you have nothing to worry about..
4
1
25 words
Ham
Apparently, ham is worth more to a collector if you haven't taken it out of its plastic container and played with it..
2
2
22 words
Dental Records
The three men stood around the filing cabinet and stared at the contents of the narrow drawer Matheson had just pulled out; he with pride, the other two in quiet admiration. ‘That’s the lot.
4
0
1233 words
The Wrong Kind of Toilet
The train slid through the dark evening air as George sat cursing his phone battery. Another hour to go, and no electronic distractions from the boredom.
12
5
1042 words
Slideshow
To stop a neighbour showing you photos, simply say of each subject that they look nice, and it would be a shame if anything were to happen to them..
6
0
29 words
Happiness
“If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands”. Appear content & well-adjusted with the neighbours by clapping continuously..
0
0
20 words
Alone
Make a neighbour feel less alone by asking them who it is you keep seeing in the window of their spare room..
4
0
22 words
Mister Pettifer
Trevor had been friends with Mister Pettifer ever since he’d first found him propped up on a bench in the park.
18
7
976 words
Chores
Get out of watering a neighbour’s houseplants by muttering things like “yeah, I’ll water them alright” and laughing to yourself.
4
0
52 words
Dog Dirt
When you see someone in the park putting dog dirt in a bag, make it your business to ask them how long they’ve been collecting. NB: Some will pretend not to understand.
6
0
43 words
Babysitting
When babysitting, send reassuring texts to the parents throughout the evening, such as “I HAVE YOUR CHILDREN”..
8
0
17 words
Respect
Earn the respect of your neighbours by saying you know nothing about things you actually know nothing about, but then winking..
2
0
21 words
Coping In The Community
When the new neighbours move in, give them a missing dog poster with a picture of a local dog you like. See if they can get it..
2
0
27 words
Creative Drawing
My name is Judith Palmer and I don’t regret anything I’ve done. I have taught at St. Agnes Primary School for three years, and I have no intention of leaving.
10
0
1107 words