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RudaMalpa

Misanthropic Monkey prone to irrational outbursts of anger & humour...... but mostly anger

29
Stories
13
Followers

Stories by @RudaMalpa (29)

RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Bye Bye.......

O ther people's work P assed off as you own U nashamedly taking the credit S ickens & angers me S o I've had enough now... *deletes Opuss*.

2 1 28 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Sea Of Eternal Sleep....

I lie awake and dream. A sea of darkness creeps over my body. Waves of black slumber wash into my head flooding my mind with cold fatigue. I float out into vast emptiness.

2 0 222 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Autocorrect.....

Thanks to autocorrect my Grandad thinks I would like to go fisting on a boat.... He has disowned me.......

2 1 19 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Positive Discrimination....

Wasn't sure wether to write about this or not, but I found it very interesting. Maybe some of you will too.... A while ago I heard one of the most fancinating conversations/stories......

0 0 822 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

The Rules....

The sooner my Missus understands that it's 'The Rules' to sniff your fingers after digging out some belly button fluff, the sooner she'll stop seeing me as a "disgusting pig"..............

0 0 31 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Plagiarism....

If you're going to rip off someone's work, then at least acknowledge that you borrowed the 'idea' or the original author. Otherwise Opuss becomes a bag of unimaginative, unoriginal crap.......

2 3 30 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Nothing Is Impossible.....

Really?...... Try nailing water to a fucking tree.......

4 0 8 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Zombies.....

If you have never thought of what song/soundtrack you would have playing whilst you were killing zombies in a "Dawn of the Dead" style Zombie Apocalypse, then you haven't lived.......

2 0 48 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Time......

No Scientific experiment has ever proven the actual existence of time.......

2 0 11 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

What If?.....

What if the washing machine gave you an extra sock back?.........

0 0 11 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Joke......

Fucking hell, since drinking this can of Redbull all I can hear is 'the Frog Song', 'Mull of Kintyre' and 'Band on the run'.............

2 0 24 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Milk......

I believe that there are certain situations where it should be legal to punch someone squarely in the face. Here is one such situation......

6 4 269 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Monday......

...... Can take a run and jump......

0 0 7 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Ninja

"I'm a Ninja" "No you're not" "Did you see me do that?" "Do what?!" "Exactly!".

50 5 15 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

History Teaches Us......

If you take away someone's right to freedom of speech and expression, they will find another way to get their message across........

0 0 22 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Prometheus

Oh my God........ June can't come soon enough........

2 0 8 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Top Post?

The top post is a song lyric?!...... Ok. Have this.... "so fucking what" - The Anti-nowhere League.

2 0 17 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Thought Police.......

Another day, another story of the Police making pathetic decisions. It has been reported that an Art Gallery in London had to remove a piece depicting the myth of Leda and the Swan.

0 0 104 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Email From A Friend.....

"Do you want to go on a march against the pasty tax?" No I don't. Here is why..... 1: it is not a tax on pasties, it is a tax on food which is served hot.

2 1 211 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Great!!

Now it posts my stuff multiple times!!!!.

0 0 7 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Crap.....

"will post when on line"...... I am on line you piece of shit.......

0 0 13 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Bugs......

So far only 1 thing I've written has actually posted and stuff appears in my feed from people I'm not following........ At this rate Opuss will be ditched.........

0 0 28 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Explanation For Everything

"the problem with this fucking place is, it always looks good on paper" - Sir Eric.

0 0 16 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Explanation For Everything

"the problem with this fucking place is, it always looks good on paper" - Sir Eric.

2 0 16 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Bugs......

So far only 1 thing I've written has actually posted and stuff appears in my feed from people I'm not following........ At this rate Opuss will be ditched.........

0 0 28 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Explanation For Everything

"the problem with this fucking place is, it always looks good on paper" - Sir Eric.

0 0 16 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Explanation For Everything

"the problem with this fucking place is, it always looks good on paper" - Sir Eric.

0 0 16 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Crap.....

"will post when on line"...... I am on line you piece of shit.......

0 0 13 words
RudaMalpa
RudaMalpa

Why?.....

If flies are called flies and Seahorses are called Seahorses, why aren't Seagulls called Skygulls?......

2 0 15 words