The lights in the kitchen are off, but the extractor above the oven hob glows dim orange moonlight over two young men's untucked shirts and designer belts.
Alex's grey hoody is up and poked behind his ears, sat underneath a wall cupboard back bent with his bum by the sink. His shoes, like Leonard's, are tied together by the laces and through a belt hook by his hip.
Three out of five toes on one foot read like binary as they poke out of his sock.
Alex slowed down doing so as he tried to picture ever seeing anyone else drink cold baked beans out of the can, as Leonard attempted to further simplify his explanation of "slow glass".
Leonard is scratching wax off the fridge door after finding only frozen sausages and pineapple juice in it, squinting one eye as he picks the wax from his fingernails. Leonard, like Alex, is around 5'11 but with a bigger head and stout jaw line, no stubble as of yet. He usually refuses to wear clothes with jokes on, but figures the "only fools and horses" quote 'cushti' is absurd enough to be plastered and looking peeling on his xs t-shirt.
"....are you listening dude? I thought you'd be interested in this, its glass that..."
Leonard interrupts with halting gulp "can let you see a little into the past aye, sounds revolutionary"
"I mean we're only talking like a few milliseconds or so I think, I dunno they don't go into the details in
Focus magazine…"
"Heh, 'focus magazine'... you hungry?" he says with an appealing drip of tomato juice sleeping on his chin.
"I'm ok... is your back not sore?"
"I'll tell you when I stand up"
Alex squeezes the bake bean tin under a pizza box in the bin, hidden "there goes my back, mother of Dawkins!"
"I only need to hear once that you are an Atheist dude, you don't have to substitute figures of speech."
"Instinctive actually"
"Bullshit, I dread the day it's no longer cool, mind you I was dreading the day it atheism was gonna become cool."
"Remember when there was barely any vegetarianism, just people that didn't want to be reminded of a pet they saw die when they were little… now there's vegan-fucking-ism"
"That's the first time tmesis has been used with that word for sure, what's your point"
"Well like you said about the atheism losing it's appeal, what if it loses it's appeal to something else? A hardcore disbelief in deitys"
"haha, 'I don't believe in anything that doesn't cast a shadow"
"aye!"
Leonard holds the change in his pocket close to his thigh, making his palms sweat a little, but there are no nerves.
The two saunter towards the hallway of the house, Alex fingers through the mail as Leonard finds the stairs.
"You should cut your toenails Alex... My mum says it's the first thing girls look for"
"Yeah, she's a great resource, I'd have thought she told you girls like big gangly limbs, and a membership to the 'one size fit's all' hat haters group to build your confidence."
Leonard peaks through the landing banisters as he they reach the turning of the stairs, gently pressing his hand on Alex's chest to stop him behind.
"Have you had your inhaler Leonard? that's some royal heavy breathing man"
"I'm concentrating"
The two shuffle up, bumping shoulders, the last few steps, and tiptoed to the door opposite.
Alex was scrunching his toes on the cream pile of the carpet, losing himself for a second. Leonard grabbed his hand and dragged him into the violet pink room ahead of them.
After a quick look round the doorway there is nothing but a pine cot, they both waltz in comfortably. They seal the door shut behind them Leonard clasps his warm palm over bright babycom he sees. They return their voice levels to "room temperature" with a sigh of relief.
Alex sees a tree house 30ft up in the willow tree in the garden through the window.
"Must have an older sibling…" notices Leonard,
"An older brother for sure, dude if I had a million I'd splash it on a massive one... right up a beanstalk..."
"Beanstalks tend to be quite flimsy dude..."
"Do you not watch films man?"
"I was hoping you weren't going to go there...
Anyway, with a million I'd get a helicopter to hover at 200ft constantly with a massive ladder. I'd get it to follow me around."
"Can't be a big brother, I can't see a "no girls allowed" sign, with the 'R' written backwards eh"
The cot is plush with a dozen Calvin and Hobbes cuddly toys, and a blanket embroidered with "DF" wrapped around a 3month old baby girl, with bright blond hair partially hidden by a fluffy pink night sock.
"I downloaded the soundtrack to Romeo & Juliet the other day...." Exhales Leonard with a sigh,
"About 10yrs too late for that isn't it?"
"Aye, probably, I just need to fill up my iPod, too much space..."
Leonard picks up a Calvin plush toy, and holds its torso firm over the baby's mouth while Alex taps a tuneless beat on the head board of the cot.
"...and it had a song that I'm sure wasn't in the film, it's called 'little star' by Twinkel Nordenstram... sounds like it should have been in the film, but it wasn't I'm sure..."
"I downloaded the Postal Service discography, and there were a few things on there that were alright, but not postal. I thought they were for ages."
The silent baby's fists turn to open palms.
"I was told by some proper trustworthy pals to listen to Hot Chip, I thought they were proper shite, that was ages ago, now every bastard likes them. If only I had pretended to like them in the first, it would have been a tremendous investment."
"Investment in 'cool points'"
"Aye, I'm not ashamed to only listen to a few songs by artists I like, I get scared to delve into their back catalogue, always disappointed:
#I don't look under their duvet covers, I just listen to them snore#
Do you like it?"
"I don't get it, come on, I'm parched, you done?"
"Aye, did you notice a Nokia charger in here?"
"Leonard, it's a 3month baby..."
"Maybe the kitchen?"
"Nah mate..."The two notice a little disturbance in another room on their floor and hot foot it downstairs and out the front door, carelessly slamming it on the way out.
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