I am never without a pen in my hand. I mostly write poetry, and the rest of me is, hence, in my ink.
Forget what Father said. He just wants to keep me Under his financial wing; For he's not ready to let me out Into the cold an harsh world. I'm scared to go myself. But I want you every step of the...
Fighting strong, I dreamt to never wake up.
We have grown tired of this distance now. Our bodies aching to songs of pouring rain and warm sun, you say you want to fall more in love..
He had his cigarette burning into the vent. Sicken thoughts of you escaped the imaginary box I had locked you away in. Brother doesn't think like I do; and the ashes are in the sink.
I seek the stars. You steal my veins out of my skin, Spin them in a bow of wires, And kiss my wounds like soft breasts Before your rough lips.
Keep my head in this peace for offering. It's beautiful oceans and intoxicating Candles of the setting euphoria. Like the scent I vaguely recall these nights.
I saw you last night. You were cold and shaking in the light rain.
I don't mind being this silhouette you created me to be.
I hear another echo, and decide to look back. It's just my mind reminding me of what I left. I hear the sounds to come home, But I'm afraid I can't be alone. I said to slow it down and start again.
Keep your hands on mine. If you let go, I'll fall for sure. We both know what Hurt is, And how I'm a great poison. I like how I'm warm, And shivering like I'm not. It means I'm nervous.
Though my ears work fine, I hear no notes that were sweet Of your voice I loved so gently; Your words are amazing And gracious as god, And I am simply Happy..
I haven't felt like this in days it seems. My stomach is cooled; Marveled at the sunsets And coasting down highways. When you look over the bridge on your return, Will you think of me. 02/19/2013.
Albatross, cherry grove. Is there something I don't know. Distant road Duplicated stencil When will it all show. That the fire is blue And your wings are white; Your voice is cracked, Shaken high.
I'm getting worse at masking the 'Bi' and the 'Polar'. I'm getting on Stage, a mask to shred away. No, do not dope me Up. I want my Highs genuinely. Breathe. I am Unidentified.
My simple Equation just became the Pot I boiled you in, hoping if the Extremities seeped out slowly, I could brew you into a Remedy for my Challenges..
You sinner, don't you sit alone forever. I'm here and now, I'm ready. I can say it a thousand more times, But clocks don't always matter. Yeah, I'm here and now, I'm ready.
My feet meet the ground, Starry head too light, You're still breathtaking. If you believe it's in my soul, Then I'll try to say all the words I own.
Behind this dash, Life flies at a hundred; Trees mock my ammonia face, The high sun in the pupil, Reflection of my iris; And this dull grey sky is priceless.
I hold it well the scar I was given by delicate teeth of your mouth upon the IV tread by which birth was indignant to my neck..
Wax house drips on my flesh Burn me red and black Merriment in my tomb Appealing fire slithers See the violent jaded Pick limbs off cobwebs This blissful dream.
Strike me black ink wet, Rip across my wall hissing cloud, Beady white eyes with crimson rims; Don't look at me. I'm not beautasious nor charming. No, no. Child. Child!.
Bore into me the strength You promised to give So I could remain alive To love you till I passed.
Bore into me the strength You promised to give So I could remain alive To love you till I passed.
Bore into me the strength You promised to give So I could remain alive To love you till I passed.
You tickle my skin as nervous as your heart beat, From the sunsets atomic level, The sort I can't split apart; Else I would destroy the world..
A cave lit by a light Of violet and magenta, String flames like a doll's hair, Ashes to be crawled in.
I want to bring you the white feathers Of my impure wings song, The ones that tickle your nose And make the Gods sneeze my will aloud; Stained in blood from my veins, My ink of crimson, solely yours...
Bore into me the strength You promised to give So I could remain alive To love you till I passed..
Run, little girl, run. Nothing can save you now From the pounding In your head and wailing In your throat, scratched loose. You've got three rooms to cross.
Look up slowly to see who Is the voice to mock me. Pathetic and weak, It's just myself. Don't I look rather boring And a bit unsettled. My skin monochrome And big amber eyes.
Like this coward, I say, Crawl to the demise. Sticks drag the boulders I've become, Weigh the monochrome world, And if I lie still against this floor, I will feel much better, Much, much better.
Stagger past the shadows That will never calm me, They all lie in sleep, Unaware. My heels throb with my snare drum head, And I wish to lie down. The siren is fading.
That girl looks demented and discouraged, Frightened with rage. Confusion. The siren sounds off, I take a stagger step to my left, The door slamming against my ear. Unforeseen.
When did I get here. I see a hint of yellow, Rusted tiles, My glasses on the shower drain. Nonsense. I can't be here. The counter is very high above my head. Those lights are too bright.
Cold. I need to see where I am. I should be in front of the mirror, Standing tall or maybe slumped over. My head rolls to the sound of swishing, And a pain shrivels in my skull.
Lying in tiles of black, A flicker of greens and reds, Stick figured faces all around, They're shaking me violently And laughing like hyenas. My god it's loud like screams.
I stand before this reflection Of messy auburn hair, Tired eyes dilating.
Ticking a born crow, Pulsating in the morn; Run while there's hope. It's not like that was safety. Fear is holding onto omens, Retribution is just sinners Begging for last worn shirts.
Compressed beneath ash, Purple twigs shriveled, Cerise like dirty water, Midnight skies on gray clouds, Straw broken auburn doll, Features defined in vivid; I am repulsive..
"Mama, why do we have to have friends in this world if they fade away, come back but want only you when you're high.
I want out. Not that it's clear: You were never even here. Oh, catastrophe, Do you like to sing me to sleep. You're a sick mutt, a deranged lunatic.
You were suppose to save me From myself. But I was called by that fool And fell in love with no one else. We are uncontrolled. And I swallowed my pride for you. Now this. This is all new.
I don't think this through. We're dead, just like you. My closet spilt the skeletons, And sickening hearts beckon. You sick fuck; cast me out. I kicked myself down, you began to shout.
I want to be something That makes people smile And want to grow up Stronger. I want to be like you..
I've been awake for two days now. I'm scared to close the glass house doors. If I do, the leaking faucet I left on in the bathroom will break; My house will flood. I'm scared to cut the lights off.
Such a heightened express For such a low girl. Time sits on a clock, And it's efforts tick Something strange. I think I broke the clock..
It has been the maggots call. She held my hand like thorns do, Strung my skin to her needle, And stitched me back to you.
If I hurt you from so far, it's worse than if I caused it from so close. At least when you were here, there was mending. Will that come again?.
I don't know What else I should Do. To make you See how I love You. Should I cut A rose from its Want, Place it next To your head, beside Me. I will laugh To take care of Us..
I haven't been able to quite clearly recall anything I've done or said. For days now its been this way, but your face is so crystal clear, it hurts to imagine it so.
I do not have the inspiration anymore. I have only globs of ink on my fingertips. It burns in my hands but I can't escape how I wanted to write love out. Will you help me?.
It sweeps through me On top a frozen creek And I'm sorry to say But either way I'm going to hell. In crazed panic I want To run and destroy The favorite places.
I think I finally decided I could manage my life alone. Though it hurts that you're gone And the anxiety is strong As you're to return so soon, I think I can do this on my own now.
Good days, broken bonds Are passing you like stars Over my head as I shake. You're far in land But close in my ribcage. You will stay forever… Won't you. Even if the numbers change?.
I felt it building Beneath my sore veins Feeling the sun inside Scorch my cheeks And pressure my eyes. I don't want to break Without you to lift Me back up when it's done..
I feel Cold when the air is, And circling my neck; Reminding me of you, How you kissed my throat Only warmer..
I walked in circles, You spoke in riddles; We laughed at our tracks, And haven't looked back..
I love How you called me Those names And brought me home To feel Special against your skin And love Who I now am..
I feel hungry To hold your broken past And mix it in the ground With my somber stories And bleak eyes So that you have food again..
After consideration fails, And the headaches start, I think it's then We really fall apart..
There's a bloody flame Licking in my eyes, And a sick knot Shredding my stomach. I think the sky isn't my answer. I failed that aspect again, And to reach for it now Is admitting defeat to myself.
Stop the wheels And break the gears. I don't want to play anymore. Where has my sense gone. I knew of these outcomes, And fell either way, For what. A shot at happiness. Stupid girl. Stupid child.
I won't play dead. I'll stand above you. Listen close. I'll make sure my name is engraved in your head. I won't run away. I have just a sick stability to reassure it's loss.
Fein of a harlot, I walk these ocean floors Delicately, like flower Petals in a trail For the bride to be sincere. I move away like crows To the straw petition I wove in the backseat Of your car.
My legs are connect to the floor But I cannot feel the pressure. There's something in my hand, Deep red and it's thumping And slimy with some twisted wire.
Shocks waves in ribbons, And unending stress cries Tolled out in the end. She wasn't meant to be here..
Cut it out and tear me down like violent scenes in a horror film. I said nothing like that to you, and smiled all the time, But your guilt stained hands touch my head with the sights.
Dismantled the clock. Lost the pen. Broken mirror, I think you win..
Dark hours and empty chairs, A room and bleak stare's, I thought we settled this matter. I was not on your team, Highly unable to fulfill your prophecy, And just a pest, your words exact.
Chaste ways and eager studies Did not find my insight Of my own life too well. They said it was a mere Light in a very damp tunnel, A humorous way of living.
You've left me in threads, Pulling them out from my skin, Till my bones are embarrassed By all the relentless attention. I'm going to kill the one Responsible For all the casualties you felt.
It's been a very long time Since I lost my turn And found my voice mute. I'm not suppose to be angry, Nor happy or sad in this home. That's just the facts. My origins say it daily.
I have no regrets. I have no ambitions to feel unpleasant emotions. As long as I have you to breathe, I live. (September 21, 2012).
I hate having stupid sad dreams. I hate this uncertain situation. More than words are needed… Why can't we just love. Have I ruined it all?… (September 9, 2012).
How do you tell the one you love You don't want to be strong anymore, That you want to be weak and vulnerable To them for a while. How do you tell them you're scared To be the strong one all the time.
Sit on the platform, Held close to mint And cigarettes, I wondered if daisies Were what you loved. I gave you the sunset That day in the drops, And said I would never Love the same way.
Flashlights wave in the dark And children cry While God bellows rage. In the dark hours, I listen with a smile To the bittersweet memories..
I have not a decorated tree. I have no presents. I have not those petty things. Oh I, I have laughter. I have my smile, And that is the best present No money could ever buy me. So stay, stay my...
Creeping down these asylum halls, I find the foreboding wills That chase me round and round And leave me exposed to laughter And the narcotics called Merriment.
Crickets and fireflies, I once knew whose eyes I saw.
There is something in the tree. Maybe if I climb up from the base, Into the sky, Oh I, oh I, I will find What I am looking for.
There's something in the tree, And if I start from the base, Climb up to the sky, I think I will find what I Have been searching for: You staring right at me..
Can I bring out the sun For you today. Rain clouds over hang Over your head Whenever you feel like You're better off dead.
Thunder and call, I saw the storm brewing From the distance. You stood alone for a while, Watching it form From across the way. We locked eyes, and it struck.
My pen broke when I tried To write my heart On your fingertips and sleeve, The ink crimson on pale, And I thought you'd scream, But you smiled and told me It's the thought that counts..
We went under the waves And surfaced blue. Our heads were dipped In silence and lust. We should not go back To the snowy ocean. We should stay here, In this embrace..
If I gave you the sun, No not the moon, But the sun, Would you know why I gave that instead?.
I want the clouds, Not the ground. I want the warmth, Not the ice inside. You gave me my flight. Why did you take it away?.
Holding in my breath With everything I have, Until it comes across As if I am mad, My face turning red; I am just biding my way Until the hour comes That you know what you denied.
Run down these ocean concave aisles, Scream to the salt in the irises of eyes, I was just a bird for a few Fleeting beautiful moments When the ones of my origin Came across like I was sin.
I would rather feel alone Than to live here For one more year With the ones who Make me miserable Without even trying..
It is not the sun that sets On all you had taken, Nor the rise of the stars On all you had gained. It is the one thing I adored Most of your fragile state That left me so speechless. You..
Breaking these walls With bloody fingers, I want to learn this, And purge your arms. I will learn some day, To do what I want, But the black is this war: The things you told me..
Stop looking at me like that. Your eyes hold the devil's secrets, Prices and Miscommunication. They say the want me close as skin to bones, Blood to lips and my will to the grave.
Thumping or possibly pounding, Enchanted and beguiled, I have found the Saving In the Misery we composed..
Sheltered and denied, To whom does this matter. My oceans are filled to a brim Of sulphur and daisies. I picked you a few, Set them in the glass of milk In your windowsill. I hope you like them..
I need to let go. This passion in a newborn strife Is more than I had expected. You made me feel so real In a dreamworld We created.
Slithering over the gallows of an overcast night, I was not too enthralled of your loss in grace.
Sin in the wake Of an early rise To pull out the strings You had soothingly tied..
It's not me who made that mistake. I wasn't wrong all this time, was I. The questions won't leave me alone, And like a child I sit in my floor, Hands over my ears, And sing about freedom.