When I look at you it's like admiring a star. Being utterly taken away by its twinkle, its luminosity, its afterglow. Seeing how far away it is and knowing that I would have to transverse an ocean of time and swim a vast sea of space just to feel the warmth of that light, is disheartening to fathom. I'm extremely finicky in picking female friends especially ones that pique romantic thoughts and feelings. Meeting you was like reliving younger years, seeing a girl that utterly and absolutely takes my breath away. Yearning to know you, aching to understand you, even though I had to keep my distance and keep to a strict moral and civil standard that society and humanity place upon its populous. But I had to know and had to understand why you brought such twinkle, such fire and passion into my life while my emotions still stood 10 yards away. You're something so amazing to me like dreaming of white palaces on majestic lands or speaking with angels about the state of love. I can only dream of those things when my mind wanders and my spirit follows somewhere beyond sand filled eyes or heavy breathed sighs. Somehow my mind allows me a glimpse into things that never have been, always could have been and always sated my soul in the very corners of my heart, just enough to keep me still.
Then along comes you, my definition of those places my mind only allows me to see. And it takes me back, jars my senses, rumbles my body and quivers my spirit. You bring out ideas and cause my thoughts to restructure sentences into wonderful pieces that I myself like to read over and over again. Passion for life, for soul, for love, for myself, is something you've re-ignited within me.
I've felt passionate about 3 people in my life, there was the story of <first love>, then the story of <second love>, and the last is a bond of friendship with my <best friend>. I could honestly say with Earth shattering confidence that I have loved, will love and continue to love those 3 people. But you stir pools of ardent emotions that haven't seen different skylines in many, many years. My heartfire is ablaze and just knowing you, talking with you, chatting with you, truly makes me a deeper person. Makes me realize that you're allowed to love many people, in many ways and to many depths.
So this is where I stand, on a shore of spilt emotions from a rambling lovefool that's already seen love, knows it's intimate embrace and awoken to its painful caress. I can definitely tell you that I am a horrible, lazy, unachieved and completely open minded person to all things that society deems right or wrong. I believe in life with no rules and I believe in rules that don't stand. Yet I shade all this through a window into the world were mass majority creates those laws that I abide by, with those morals that I walk sulkingly along the same line as everyone else. Half lying to myself, half lying to everyone to conform to some standard that I don't even have faith in. It makes me want to tear my heart a sunder to wish to know you more then I know now, but we're both aware that I cannot, for my heartfire belongs to others, it's no longer mine to give away.
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