27 May 2012
Wooden. SCENE 1: Seed
[A young couple are lying beneath a large oak tree on a summer’s day dripping with sex]
He: You know you can tell the age of a tree by the rings?
She: Is that your idea of pillow talk?
He: No it’s true.
She: So this ones fucking old and I’m not getting any younger… now kiss me, tell me I’m beautiful and so on…
He: Look at the ants. They’re attending to the queen. [He just likes nature and he thinks it’s charming].
She: Mmm, mmm. Jesus you know how to make a girl feel wanted. Attend!
[Passing distractions pass and he does indeed turn to her with the biggest smile].
He: I love you…
She: Yeah yeah…
[Enough clothes are removed and loosened]
He: No I do!
She: I know you do.
He: I think you’re very beautiful.
She: Ha!
[He stops sharply and goes as far as sitting up]
He: What’s wrong with you?
She: Sorry?
He: Why can’t you just enjoy it?
She: I am! I was…
He: And there you go switching it to me.
She: [switching it to him] That’s not very nice.
He: It’s just us here you know?
She: [in a very good act of not comprehending] What?
He: [shaking a little, aware he’s pushing a truth] There’s no audience.
[She laughs, crushing his tiny heart]
She: Okay, okay. [With an inappropriate level of enthusiasm] Do you want to carry on? Come on! [Like rousing a losing cricket team].
He: [resigned] Okay.
[They make love with a reasonable level of enjoyment and awkwardly slog their way to satisfaction].
Opuss № I