Student in London. I am jokes!
What is love. Some confusing shit that makes you feel good, sad and angry at the same time. You don't feel like eating anything... I'm feeling that right now...
Shine bright like a diamond.
Is it his DNA. He just takes my breath away... And I feel it every day.
Twilight Breaking dawn part 2... Jacob (Taylor Lautner strips). Woop. Woop!.
Q:What's a pregnant woman to a cannibal. A: Kinder with surprise.
Yo Momma so fat when she goes on the lift she doesn't have to press any buttons because it just goes down... -Not meant to be offensive.
What is your favourite So.... Deodorant or perfume fragrance. Mine are: So.... Daring and So.... Fab.
You are so posh, you make the queen look like a gangster.
Yo mamma is so fat when you threw a bus, she said: "Who threw that rock?!?!".
A child gets caught with chewing gum in class by teacher Teacher: Spit it out. Other child: You're like Sir Alex Ferguson, always chewing.
Man City vs Man.U Good Luck!.
When someone throws skittles at you and say: taste the frickin' rainbow, Throw back some m&ms and say : I'm not afraid.
Your heart can decide who you like... But when it can't what da heck do you do???. I mean lots of boys in my class are hotties like who to pick???.
Jenny Blue, Lost her shoe, In the middle of the street. Jenny Blue, Didn't know what to do, About her shoe. Jenny Blue, Asked me and you, If we ever saw it.
Brunette: What is the capital of Texas??. Blonde: T.
Before you criticise someone walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you've got their shoes.
Knock knock. Who's there. Cheese Face Cheese face who. Cheese face you!!!.
Last night I looked up at the stars and thought: " Where the heck is the ceiling???!!!".
I set fire, to the bread Watched it burn As mum slapped my face Then she screamed And I cried And I ran outside into the rain, raaaaaaaain.
At weddings old people poke me and say you're next. So I started doing the same to them at funerals..
2012: Come at me bro. 1880: Advance towards me bretheren..
When someone says u can't sing, Tell dem it's a free country.
I don't hate you...but if you were on fire and I had a bottle of water, I'd drink it.
Teacher: What do we have around us??. Student: H2O Teacher: that's right!!. You wonder and say that we have O2 around us...but, this is a fish school.
Smile, it makes your haters feel bad!.
Haters gonna hate..
Did you just fall. No, I attacked the floor Backwards?. Im damn talented!.
How do 5 gay guys walk??. In One direction. Lol.
Used to be normal, until I met those losers that I call my best friend.
My future is so bright I nee shades. Your future is so dim, you need a light bulb :D.
*3 am call* Are you sleeping. No, I'm skydiving!.
Did you just fall. No, I attacked the floor!.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my class??. Student: Why are you teaching during my connversation???.
Homework is bad for the environment, it hurts trees ;).
That awkward moment when it's your birthday and people are singing happy birthday and you don't know what to do :-/.
Having a bath...filled to the top...like a wavey boss 8-).
When someone throws skittles at you and says taste the frickin' rainbow, run them over with a car and say : "nationwide is with you".
When someone throws skittles at you and says taste the frickin' rainbow, run them over with a car and say : "nationwide is with you".
Everything is funnier when you are not allowed to laugh!.
I am a member of the C.S.I (Can't Stand Idiots).
Everyone needs a second chance, but not for the same mistake.
Everything is nothing Nothing is everything.
Some blonde girls think, I'm joking, most blonde girls don't think at all!.
Everything is nothing Nothing is everything.
Some blonde girls think, I'm joking, most blonde girls don't think at all!.
Status: Popping bubbles like a boss :-)) Dunoeee.
A black man enters a cafe. He meets a white man. The white man says: "No coloured people allowed!" The black man felt really angry but he had something to say " If I'm coloured, then what are you.
Stop being racist: be like a Panda: black, white and Asian..
Dogs at the only animals that love you ( the owner ) more than they love themselves... ;-(.
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one....
Try to eat makeup so you get pretty on the inside. You should, cuz your evil, cold and vain!!!.
I have a personal awkward moment: When the teacher tells you to get in a circle on Secondary School and then you have to hold hands with a boy.
When life gives you skittles, throw dem at people and tell dem to taste the frickin' rainbow!.
Dear Maths, I am sick and tired of finding your X. Just accept the fact that she is gone mate, gone 4 good!.
That awkward moment when the whole class is laughing and then you realise the whole class is laughing at you and not with you. :-/.
So jokes at school cuz there's some boy and he's fat (no offence) and hes always late. Whenever he enters the class we are all like: EARTHQUAKE!!. Lol :D no offence to fat or plump people :-).
Solomon Grundy was born on a Monday Christened on Tuesday Married on Wednesday Took I'll on Thursday Worse on Friday Died on Saturday Buried on Sunday That was the end of Solomon Grundy..
Music: we have YOUTUBE for that. Spanish: there's Dora. Maths: Thats why we have calculators. English: everything is shortened anyway (lol, omg, idk). Geography: I'll buy a globe.
When life gives you lemons, give them to Lady GaGa so she can make you a costume :D.
A couple decided to have their honeymoon 2 months after their marriage. They decided to go to Florida. Due to problems with the airplane tickets so the man had to go one day before the lady.
A couple decided to have their honeymoon 2 months after their marriage. They decided to go to Florida. Due to problems with the airplane tickets so the man had to go one day before the lady.