Untitled
It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts -fix a heart.
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11 words
ammeyelwal
So many times I try to write but nothing comes out till I feel the pain. kik:ammeyelwal
163
Stories
74
Followers
Stories by @ammeyelwal (163)
One Of The Boys
Forever one of the boys. Echoes of 'dude'. Yes I'm your pal. Always in that mood. You see I don't mind it. Until I get that glimpse. Of what life would be like. If I exhaled girly things.
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102 words
Numb
Hunger pangs But I can't eat. Eyes they tire Yet I can't sleep. Cry so loud Still I struggle to speak. Thoughts run wild Yet I've nothing to think. People talk I no longer hear.
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41 words
I Am Not Proud
How I feel. What I think. The moods I make. Feelings I drink. How I appear. My irrational fears. My past faults. The way I talk. My unruly tongue. How I'm up. How I'm down. How ill go round and round.
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63 words
Lost Cause
Fed up of automatically pushing people away. I don't think they understand, that I'd give them no reason to stay..
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20 words
Explosions
#anagram A lways on edge N ever quite sure X ploding with fear I nside I want more E ven the good days T hey're never quite there Y et in my chest this will forever stay.
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14 words
➰
But oh where have you gone You left with no trace Your bleed and your disgrace Will wreck us all #nightlyrics (This is why I never sleep!).
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26 words
Rambling
I'm looking down, realising. I've reopened wounds from before. Not just from the past week or so. But from all those years ago. That time when I thought I knew how it felt. But now I really know.
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163 words
Mending
Today I'm feeling strange. Today I feel slightly better. Today I look at myself. Today the weathers wetter. Today I'm appearing strong. Today I feel my urges. Today I've been distracted.
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63 words
Lie #3
''No, I'm not offended...".
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Do Not Mean To Offend
These wounds are fresh Not yet healed It hurts to move Irritates yet soothes They are harder to hide Yet that edge gives me thrill I'm not condoning it I never will It's just my way of...
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68 words
Help?
So you've been avoiding My written words You wanted me to stop But I find that absurd It's how you think It's harder than you know You can't get involved If you want to up and go You came you...
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121 words
Alone
I might just stay here. In bed. It's the only place where. I don't have to pretend. Or use my head. I have time off work. No one will know. I can be as weak as I like. And not have it show.
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84 words
Oh...
You think your words calm me. But they only make me angry and insulted. Then maybe I should just forget this. Pick up the pieces and get a head check. I used to feel it hidden in my chest place.
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67 words
Three.
I almost said those three words. They wouldn't come out though. I guess I'm still not strong enough. Not yet. I just need to keep breathing..
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26 words
BedTalk
-We all love the cold side of the pillow..
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9 words
Lay Your Cards On The Table
What do you do when you realise you have a mental disorder. Do you break down even more. Or are you broken down enough. I'm feeling raw..
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27 words
Untitled
It's like a constant nightmare, there's no escape..
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8 words
Take These Broken Wings
"Black bird singing in the dead of night...Black bird fly." -Paul McCartney.
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Proven
I'll love you and no one else. Always..
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8 words
Talk
I am sorry, for everything. For what you've been reading, what you might be feeling. I know what I've been expressing must be difficult to take.
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144 words
Lie #2
"I'm fine.".
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2 words
Truths
There's always truth in what I speak. Even if you don't believe it..
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13 words
Can't Speak
You think I'd be brave enough to talk. But I wouldn't even know what to say. This conversation couldn't start with a casual...hey. I can no longer speak my feelings.
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47 words
Strings
I've lost my faith. I've lost my hope. I've lost my voice. I've lost my thoughts. I've lost my appetite. I've lost wanting more. I've lost feeling free. But my guitar finds me. My noble steed..
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36 words
This Is Shame, You Don't Want It.
What's it like for you on your own what do you do. When you feel so low and alone with all your faults. Do you cry. Tell me why why why. Is it just that you no longer know how to breath.
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99 words
Cover Up
Today, she glanced at my arm. No matter how hard I tried. It was all bare to see. She never spoke a word though. Just moved on. No hesitation..
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29 words
If There's A Future We Want It!
" -I never thought that what would take me out was hiding down below Lost the battle, win the war. - Bringing my sinking ship back to the shore" -Paramore.
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30 words
Lie #1
''My brothers cat did it.".
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5 words
Untitled
I need you, more than anything..
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6 words
- - - - -
Worrying when your closest friend doesn't suspect a thing. Maybe it's just all them fake grins. My past looks down on me. Pushes me in. I wish that time could stand still. Look onto what may be.
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53 words
Harmed
Struggling to settle my chest. Is this just a test. Of how much I can or cannot take. If it is. I'm failing for sure..
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25 words
-
But I don't..
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3 words
Dimming Lights.
The anxiety is back again. I'm left feeling alone. It's all so quiet. Yet the beat of my heart speaks volumes. I'm trying to not let it phase me. Trying to keep it all in. It's hard though.
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46 words
Untitled
This is smashing up all of my senses. I'm not sure I can do this all on my own..
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19 words
Snow Joke
Throwing up on your shoes whilst walking home in this weather is always fun!.
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14 words
Inside My Head
Life is hard. It gets even harder when you have no one to turn to. To clarify my actions and put me straight.
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69 words
The Best I Ever Had.
If I could go back, Have that second chance. I'd do it all the same, But my heart would remain open. I would show you what you meant to me. What we were supposed to be..
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36 words
Untitled
Worthless; the recurring thought inside my head..
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7 words
Things I Don't Get.
What I'd give to have someone who gives a shit. One thing that frustrates me, more than ever. Is the bitterness and hate that consumes around me, always forever.
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105 words
Past
Night out, with the 'pals' Surrounded by the past. Things I'd rather forget. Feelings that never last. But tonight I will stay sober. Only one or two drinks. Ill only get more upset.
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70 words
Why?
Just let me ask... What gives you the right?.
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9 words
Unbelievable.
This is about me and only me. No one else. These are my life choices. Yeah, you're not proud. You can see this is personal. My own choice. You can't see your future. When you're still clouding mine.
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54 words
NOW
'If there's a future we want it now. There's a time and a place to die and this ain't it.' -Paramore.
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21 words
Reality
Reality is becoming illusion. I can't differentiate between what is real and what I hope isn't so..
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17 words
Before You Stop To Listen
Like you care, what I do. It's me that's damaged, not you. It's not your fault, not his not hers. But is it mine, and all my trapped up fears. Things resurface, with no real cause.
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61 words
Scarred
Palms are sweaty, Pulse is racing, Thoughts are swirling, Mind is failing. Hearts are beating, Chest is tensing, Gripping white knuckles, Panics a creeping.
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66 words
Static
Can't help but wonder if these emotional scars hurt more than the ones I'm creating now..
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16 words
Say It Now.
Scratching at the surface. I'm just trying to see. I'm trying to just breathe. Think this as a whole. There's no one to blame. No one but myself. No one but me. I've lost myself. I've hurt myself.
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64 words
Untitled
I don't know who I am anymore..
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Trying
What do you do when the only part of you that's left is wanting to tear you apart. Gasping for that one last breath, that one last step That you hope might be the end.
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70 words
Forgotten
I hate my thoughts so much right now. Close enough to hurt myself..
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13 words
Anybody For Rants
Rants rants, everybody rants..
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You've Moved Along.
I no longer see you, I no longer feel you. I can no longer hear Those songs that we once knew. I still wanted to be that one. To put that smile on your face.
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117 words
Release
Sat alone Thoughts in flow Mind is set On past events Emotions run high My mouth runs dry Could I do this again Would I even know why The few scars that remain From the slight bit of pain Is...
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60 words
One...
Stupid mistake, can change your life. Wrongly said verse, can make you think twice. Love that was past, can tear into your heart. Second chance, becomes one too many.
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51 words
Goodnight
Feels like I'm on a roller-coaster of emotion. Is it my tired eyes or am I slightly bi-polar. I go up you go down, then you're up, it makes me frown.
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81 words
I Wonder...
If things will ever be the way that they were..
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10 words
Another Earth
What if there was another us. Another version below or above. Would we look at ourselves and be proud of our lives, Or would we see all the hurt and mistakes not so kind.
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214 words
The Story
One day I'll look back and I'll see what we've become. I know I'll regret and want to forget all the bad in my past, in our past. But I won't call this and I won't call us a mistake.
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155 words
Noteworthy
Is this finally over, or has the battle just begun. I knew it was simple, For me to just get up and run. But I won't, I'm stronger than that. Told myself I won't fall and I won't be hurt. Not anymore.
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75 words
You Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.
Every word I read from you is making me feel guilt. You want me out of your life yet here you are in my mind, in my thoughts, infront of me. Always there. Preventing me.
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215 words
Far Below
I know what want and what I need. I just need some guidance please. And now I know what it is like. To feel so out of life. Just run to them, to them. Escape this. Run far then, far then. You'll find.
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164 words
100th
Every broken heart, Every long last look. All the songs in my soul, All tears that I shook. Each page that I turn, Each touch that I yearn. It lead me to you. It will always do..
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37 words
Reliance
I no longer have that comfort..
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6 words
They Say...
It gets worse before it gets better. Too right. I think this throat infection is trying to eat my soul!.
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20 words
The Way Things Are
Is this the way it's gonna be. For now and for eternity. If this is poetic conversing then please let me add just one more thing...
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129 words
Untitled
Never put me down as the 'romantic' type. I'll only laugh in your face. If you gave me a bunch of flowers, I wouldn't be able to find a vase. 3 course meals made for two, is something I cannot take.
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133 words
So...
The tension, the kiss. I let go, we're in bliss... #flashfiction #nightdwellers.
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10 words
Hurts.
My insomnia seems to be getting worse. The clock keeps ticking, yet the time doesn't pass. Time only leaves me with that chance to reflect, or that chance to feel it all again.
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49 words
He Said Enough
I miss my best friend..
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5 words
Unwritten
I wish I could start again, change everything and be what you needed. Be what I needed. Be what we should've been..
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22 words
Wishing
Last year left me stumped. A lot happened and a lot has changed. All I know is that I don't know how I'll ever feel that love again..
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28 words
You Are.
I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's infront of me here. -The Only Exception.
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21 words
Tonight
Tonight I'm feeling weak. Tonight I'm all alone. Tonight ill lay awake. Tonight ill still be home. Tonight I will just think. Tonight ill write my thoughts. Tonight ill think of you.
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07-01-13
I sit here alone with that glisten to my eyes. All becomes hazy as I think through my life. Have I ever done anything I wanted. The answer I don't know cause I still hold me back.
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129 words
Untitled
Memories make me want to go back there..
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8 words
I Miss You.
Today, I realised..
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I Will Prove You Wrong
"You're impossible to be with" -probably the most hurtful, untrue thing said to me last year....
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16 words
New Years
Another year gone, Probably my best and worst one of all. Had some incredible highs, Some damn hard lows.
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44 words
Birthday.
''You're a nasty pasty!'' Is what me and fee always say. We've woken up early, because its my birthday.
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110 words
Love Drunk.
I love to hate But hate to love. It's not the hate that wrecks my soul, it is the fear of love that hurts me most..
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26 words
Christmas
So here we are, it's that time again. It's gone so fast, and still it rains. Happy faces from dusk till dawn, still in our hearts we will mourn. It gets you right between your chest, upsets your soul.
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126 words
Yellowcard
So many people close to me cut me down. Here I am alive. If I could write to the kid I was before..
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23 words
Hope.
The more I dwell over these past few months, the more I realise I have never done enough. I've always been a quiet person, afraid to come out of my shell.
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146 words
The End.
I wanted you to want me. I needed you to need me. Like I needed you. You looked but never saw. Your eyes open, but your heart closed. My heart raw. My thoughts blurred, Controlled by the fear.
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86 words
Thoughts
I've never known something like this, it's a cross between fear and happiness. It's a fine line between delusion and reality. My mind keeps switching, between past and present.
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183 words
Lying Eyes.
He'd say it's me, He'd say it's me ruined. But this was a joint effort, That we both had been brewing. I've made mistakes, But he played his part. He kept it all hidden and showed me no depth of...
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126 words
Life.
Life sometimes gives you difficult choices to make. It's about facing the facts and measuring up to who you used to be, who you are now and who you want to be.
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73 words
Untitled
Lay down your arms, give up the fight..
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8 words
Forgive Me.
Everything's so dark, All hope is lost. I just want to feel that rush again, Of our skins first touch. But your love left me blind and smothered all my hope. To laugh, To feel, To want, To know.
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99 words
Ever So Shy.
You're ever so cool and I'll be your fool, if you let me. -General Fiasco.
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15 words
Lost.
I know I've hurt you, I know you care. But the pain won't stop, Only while you're there. But sometimes I think, Of all we've been through. Our rollercoaster ride Of shame and of pride.
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83 words
Dissapointing.
This heart it beats, beats for only you. Needs to change. -my heart is yours..
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15 words
Regret
I can't do this..
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This Circle Never Ends
Never tip your head back while crying, the water only trickles into your ears..
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14 words
Ache.
Today's the first day I felt so alone, nowhere to run nowhere to go. The thoughts start swirling and my mind's not at ease, I feel that rush in my chest. Then that tight squeeze.
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41 words
Amen!
Never felt so free, things are looking up finally!.
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9 words
Honesty.
I'm scared of failing at anything I do..
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8 words
Words Just Fail Me
Never wanted to see someone's face so bad but at the same time not. He was all that I had got. Wrapped me around his little pinky. Now my whole life just seems to be sinking..
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36 words