28 March 2012
I remember it quite vividly. I was upstairs in my parents bedroom watching TGIF (oh come on!!! you know you did too once upon a time!!!). Full House was on. I don't remember which episode but it was pretty much the one where one of the stupid Olsens said "You got it, dude". The discussion of how they have come to dominate the world will have to be saved for another time. Anyway, my parents were out of the house and it was just me and my sister. We're pretty similar, Nina and I. I find it a simple truth of life that people who are very similar usually fight a lot. You would think the opposite was true, but no my friends, like begets like in our case. We would fight like cats and dogs. Then we went through a phase where we were the best of friends and loyal confidants. Now we're in a phase where we have a mutual like/dislike for one another. I guess a lot of that stems from the fact that I wasn't around when she was growing up. I missed 7 years of her life. Those are 7 years we'll never get back and I think it's safe to say that we're not as close as we used to be because of it. Now you may be asking, "Bobby, why were you gone for 7 years?" Well, that's the point of this entire story. It began on that Friday night in January of 1994. The garage door opened, which was our cue to turn off the tv, run to our bedrooms and pretend to be asleep. See, our parents were a bit strict. When they came home and saw us watching the tele, they would yell at us to turn it off. So we got quite good at fabricating a new reality, one in which we were off in our rooms studying/sleeping/reading, etc. Whenever they called us, we would slowly open the doors, rub our eyes, and say "What time is it? Really? Wow I must have zonked out!!" That would throw them off our scent for a while. But this time, they asked for me specifically.
"Bobby!!! Come Down!!!" Now here I am dreading the inevitable.......did I finish my homework? Did I have any studying to do? Did I vacuum the house? Well, I mosey on down the stairs and for the first time I could remember, both my parents were waiting at the bottom for me, as if I was some sort of 14 year old debutante that they were waiting to escort to the Midnight Ball at Cinderella's Castle. Apparently it was serious because the first words out of my dad's mouth were "We want to talk to you".
Now, this was long before I ever learned true paranoia from certain herbal stimulants, but I was definitely wondering if I had done something wrong because usually they got to the point. So I asked what was up.
"We want you to go to India......"
Ok no big deal. I had just gone the previous summer for a visit to what I dubbed "The Motherland".......I was going through my self-described "Indian Malcolm X" phase. I was very Indo-centric......knew all about the culture, the struggles of the poor, the corruption in the government, but most of all the beauty of such a great country. I was sadly mistaken about how much I really knew. That summer vacation was an eye-opener. The country was everything I thought only worse. Oppressive society, American haters, more corruption than you can shake a rupee at, and bearded women with monkeys on their backs. Yeah, it was enlightening. So when they told me they wanted me to go to India, I figured it was for another vacation to visit family and the like. While I was pondering that, my dad finished his sentence,
".....for medical school."
WHOA. Now wait a minute there. That did not sound right. Medical School? India? THE? Ok, I took the bait. Why did they want me to go to India?
"You've always wanted to be a doctor and here's your chance."
See, I really wish I had paid attention in Psychology class senior year in high school. Because then I would have understood what they were doing right there. They were PROJECTING. They wanted me to be a doctor but they were making it sound like it was me who wanted to be a doctor all along. I had thought about it, I admit, but I just didn't see myself committing the time and effort to become one. There were just too many other things I would rather do than study. But they still didn't tell me the gestaldt of the why.
"We'll save a lot of money and you'll save a lot of time by going."
What they were secretly thinking was that they didn't want me to go to college here and become distracted. I had planned on going to William & Mary as a premed. I had got accepted and everything (how?? one of life's great mysteries, if you ask me) They thought I would end up changing my mind about medicine and end up doing something else. Like that's such a crazy idea, maybe find out what I was interested in and passionate about? Sounds crazy to me.
So my dad was playing the part of the salesman and my mom was his wing-wife. Both of them were laying it out for me. It was such a great opportunity, to do something I had always wanted.........
So when you hear about parents having no idea about what's going on with their kids, here's a great example of two parents who were clueless. To be fair and honest, I did mention it a lot that I wanted to be a doctor........WHEN I WAS 7!!!!!!!!!!! 10 years later, and tastes change......needs differ, sanity prevails!!!!! But not this time. Come hell or high water, I was going to India. And to convince me that it was a good idea, they took me to visit another indian family who booted their own kid to india as well.
(to be continued)
Prologue • Opuss № I