28 February 2012
As I get closer to school, it gets worse. My heart beats faster, I think it is gonna come out my chest. I say good bye to dad. I make sure I tell him I do love him.
I get out the car and into the school, say hi to the few who seem to care about me, and sit there, complaining. "Oh no, today is even's." "Today is odd's." "Today is not Wednesday/Friday". Never happy about the day it is.
The bell rings, the hell just started. I walk out and get to the bathroom. I lock the door, looking up, looking for a reason to not run away.
"you will survive this day", my own desperate voice says.
I look at the mirror. I am not pretty. I am too flat. My hair never looks like I want.
I get out. And finally see him. Bittersweet feeling.
The bell rings again.
I am scared to death. That the teacher will ask me something. That something embarrassing will happen. That you will ignore me again.
After 6 hours of torture and 2 spent with friends, I am finally out.
As I get farther, I get happier. Thinking about the day. That it was like yesterday, and the day before too.
Scared to death. That tomorrow will be the same. That it will never change. That I wont forget the good things that happened some weeks ago. Or at least I think happened. That summer will take long to get here. That I keep running away from the present. That I just think: "in high school I will..", "in 7th, Everything was good".
I get home, and music, my friends, and books, get me in a great mood.
Suddenly, I forget how much of a fool he was during the day, hoping tomorrow will be different. Everything goes right, but then, when I have to wake up the next morning, I am scared to death again.
Scared To Death • Opuss № I