I'm weird :)
What I think happened to me is that I moved away from violent angry cutting depressed girl to a neutral easily angered girl with a lot of issues. I dont think it makes sense but thats what I feel.
I have a thousand questions and a million answers but one question that I can't answer and that question haunts me more than anything. Why do I blame my brother for all of my problems.
What would happen if I just put my life on hold. Just stopped going to school for the rest of the year. What if I just stayed here in my room and hoped everything would change.
What would happen if I just closed my eyes and didn't open it. What if I just stayed there and though about everything.
Why is it bad that I cut. Why do people look at me like I am broken. I know that it's "bad" but why. why is it bad. Can you tell me. Of course not because you don't look to see how good it feels..
All I care about is art now I don't give a shit about anything else anymore.
I have decided that I will get rid of my blade and just cry every time I feel down.... This is going to be interesting..
Tears or blood what do I lose more. I don't know but I know that they both make me feel better.
I couldn't do it I couldn't tell the doctor. I feel like such a failure I seriously can't even get the guts to tell a doctor how the hell do I tell my parents.
I'm finally going to do it I'm going to go get help at least I think I will I can't tell my parents so I'll tell a doctor who will tell my parents.
Dear blade, You have ruined my life. You bring happiness to me for a while but then it's all guilt. I love the feeling when it's there but after that it's all torment.
I did it again after 3 weeks of blade free bliss I fell back. It is like a drug I can't stop. One you start no matter how long you stopped you go right back.
All u want is to have someone tell me that I'm beautiful. It's all I ask for i want someone to look back at me when I walk with my friends.
Please I want you to hate me. I don't want your sympathy I want your hate. I want my life to be absolutely terrible so I can justify my pain and sadness.
Why do I do this to myself why do I read books that get me way too engaged in the story that I let go of my life. Why do I start acting like the characters in these books.
When someone says "your weird" don't take it as an insult take it as a compliment.
He is supposed to be the perfect person. He is good at sports and school. He has girls throwing themselves at him everywhere he goes.
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful. No, it isn't +44.
I put on a mask every day I hide my flaws with makeup and clothes that make me look thinner. But the mask that no one sees is the one I put over my heart no one sees the depression and the fear.
A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. Well I am a rose with another name all you have to do us look past the name to see something truly beautiful.
I'm happy and sad, out of control and composed, and an artist and a writer a lover and a hater don't judge I'm only human..
The scars of the past are the maps to the future. Let me explain I thought of this when I was looking at my arm and all the pink scars on it.