21 February 2013
Ben- Ben is a complex figure. He has to be intuitive. I'm not really sure why he's the way he is when it comes to my religion. I don't really understand how he knew. Especially after I acted the way I did. Father, I am going to try so hard to love this kid. I do NOT want him to be a project. I want to show love. And show that love is a possibility. Jesus, allow us not to be awkward or resent or regret. I want to look back a year from now while he is having dinner at the apartment. Please Jesus, allow him to begin making better choices. I want that for him. I want it even if he doesn't. I'm going to pray that he has a desire to make better choices. Father, one day I ask that he would just fall apart in my arms. That kid is already more loved than he can understand. I ask that this wouldn't turn into Kyle and I wouldn't sit around and ask a billion questions and be aboard the struggle bus. Jesus just help me. I am seeking Your love to share and Your heart to break. I want to be in likeness with you. Allow me to breathe because you're going to carry this with me. I ask that You might keep this feeling in my heart for him though. I want to love this kid to the very best of my ability.
Ben Magee • Opuss № I