11 February 2013
I ran out of the shop, letting the bag clothes drop loudly behind me.
"Dylan, No!" I heard Seth shout in the distance. I didn't care anymore, why should I? My boyfriend just cheated on me with that man. No matter the hatred that filled my body for Jayy right now. I could deny the fact that he was beautiful, he was pure beauty and I could never compare to him. I kept running, I don't know where I was running by now. The tears were already stinging down my eyes, the pains as they filled down my cheeks, stopping at my chin, groaning softly. I couldn't help but stumble lightly as my legs began to weaken. Why was I still running. I didn't want to look back to see if he was still running after me. As quick as I could I ran into the nearest shop, grabbing a pack of pills and shoving them tightly into my pocket, sighing. My heart thudded loudly as I rubbed the back of my hand slowly against my forehead, wiping away the small beads of sweat.
"Can I help you sir?" A young lady shocked me, offering me a bag. Blinking slowly I shook my head and stumbling back away from her. Her facial expression turned shocked as she stepped closer to me.
"Sir, Are you okay?" She rushed out, grabbing my wrist tightly, causing me to let out a light yelp. Pushing her away and causing her to tumble. Gasping, I glanced at her on the floor, whimpering.
"I'm so sorry.." I whispered, shoving past a man that was trying to help her up, I sprinted quickly out of the shop, down the road again, wiping away my tears. Please stop crying, I silently begged myself. Why couldn't I stop! I just wanted to end this. To end all of this, I wasn't loved.. I never was. I was always going to be a replacment for Jayy, when he couldn't turn up or when Seth wanted something new. After all we've been through, I would have thought he at least felt something for me. As I ran into the empty bus I clambered into the bunk, taking a deep breath and pulling a small knife from under my pillow, laying it on the pillow, also laying the bottle of pills aside it. Sliding quickly out of the bunk I frowned and looked around, There must be something else here.. somewhere. Glancing at the whiskey and drinks cabinet I slowly walked over to it, grabbing several in my hand before backing up, dashing back to my bunk. I could do this simply, Slit my throat, end it almost instantly. I could make it slow, Drink myself to death.. Or take the pills and see how long they took to kick in. My gaze just stared at the objects infront of me, blinking ever so slowly. Taking a sharp breath then closing my eyes.
"One.. Two.. Three." I mumbled, hovering my hand over the objects, clamping down on one.
Dirty Secrets • Opuss № I