Quick Joke #53
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately that God is Buddha!.
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beeglebuzz
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Stories by @beeglebuzz (73)
Quick Joke #52
Two men walk into a bar eating sandwiches. The bartender says "You can't eat your own food in here!" The men swap sandwiches!.
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Quick Joke #51
I'm on a special diet. I only eat things with "special" in them: Special K, Special Fried Rice, and of course, Marks and Spencer's Strawberry Cream Triple Sponge Cake - Special Offer!.
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Quick Joke #50
I was in a car wash and I started foaming at the mouth. I thought, I'm not having this, so I cycled out again!.
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Quick Joke #49
The Greek economy..
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Blanket of White
Icy wind, like the devil's breath, Darkening skies, no sun to be seen. Birds fly South to avert their death, The midnight frost reflects the starlight's gleam.
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Quick Joke #48
What did one tonsil say to the other. Get dressed, the Doctor's taking us out!.
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Quick Joke #47
What goes ha-ha bonk. A man laughing his head off!.
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Quick Joke #46
I'm amazed at how many people go to Ascot when it's windy. Still, hats off to them!.
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Quick Joke #45
I used to be a deep sea diver, but I couldn't stand the pressure!.
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Quick Joke #44
I went into a film rental store, and asked to take out the elephant man. The dealer said, "He's not your type!".
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Quick Joke #43
Did you know that people called Jack can't be pilots. When they walk in, the stewardess says: "Hi Jack!" and all the passengers run around screaming!.
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A Journey
#acrostic. J oining a path from which few return. O ver huge plains. U nder magnificent mountains. R iding your noble steed. N othing can tell where the path will take you.
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Quick Joke #42
I had a job at Burger King once. Andrew Lloyd Webber walked in and asked for two Whoppers. I said: "You're good looking and your musicals are great!.
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My Lands Game
Copy this link to play. You (and I) will get extra rewards when you upgrade your capital castle to level 5. http://mlgame.co.uk/?state=register_simple_new&f=11482&server=miner_co_uk_1 Try it.
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Quick Joke #41
I didn't have a happy childhood. I remember my third birthday party. I was 15!.
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Ultimate Logic 4
This one's really tricky. According to legend, this riddle was devised by Albert Einstein as a child: There are five houses in a row (numbered 1,2,3,4 and 5) painted five different colours.
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Ultimate Logic 3
A boy and a girl are sitting on a bench. "I'm a girl" said the brown haired child. "I'm a boy" said the blonde child. At least one of them is lying. Which is the boy?.
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Ultimate Logic 2
Which statement is true. A or B. A: Statement B is true B: Statement A is false.
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Ultimate Logic 1
Is it legal for a man in Belgium to marry his widow's sister?.
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Ultimate Logic Instructions
A new series of logic puzzles to test your mental ability. Leave an answer in the comments box if you know. (Don't look until you give up!).
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Quick Joke #40
Conjunctivitis.com That's a site for sore eyes. *Feel free to follow me!* New Jokes Added Every Day!.
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Quick Joke#39
Dot dot dot. Dash dash dash - I really regret that. Remorse code!.
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Quick Joke #38
I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot all the foxes!.
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Quick Joke #37
"I once got a dog to retrieve a stick from 50 miles away!" "That's a bit far-fetched!".
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Quick Joke #36
How do you make an Apple Puff. Chase it round the kitchen!.
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Quick Joke #35
Where do you weigh a whale. At a whale-weigh station!.
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Quick Joke #34
What did one wall say to another. I'll meet you in the corner!.
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Quick Joke #33
Twelve blondes walk into a building. I'm surprised that one of them didn't see it!.
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Be Considerate
Welcome to Opuss. This is a great app, which lets your mind do what it likes. However, please be considerate to other users: 1. Tag your posts correctly.
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Quick Joke #32
Didi you hear about the girl who kissed a canary and got chirpes. The doctor said it was untweetable!.
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Quick Joke #31
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back. A stick..
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Quick Joke #30
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. ***Feel free to follow me!*** New jokes added every day!.
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Quick Joke #29
What did the hat say to the scarf. You hang around, I'll go on ahead!.
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Quick Joke #28
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The Bartender says: "We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies: "You have a drink named Steve?".
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Quick Joke #27
A man walks into a bar. Ouch..
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Quick Joke #26
What's red and invisible. No tomatoes!.
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Quick Joke #25
What do you call a cow with no legs. Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs. Lean beef!.
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Quick Joke #24
Where do you find a dog with no legs. Right where you left him!.
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The Souvenirs Of War
The shrieking din when bombs explode, The sound of weeping from a fallen abode. As a woeful warning, dead men lie, Like distressed ravens, the wounded cry: The dreadful souvenirs of a damaging war.
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The Zip Wire
I look at the tower; It’s ever so high. I watch my friends jump… And away they fly. I’m climbing the tower, It’s ever so high. I’m not sure I’ll do it, But I’ll give it a try.
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Quick Joke #23
What do you get when you put cheese and milk together. Cheesemilk.
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Quick Joke #22
What do you call Santa's elves. Subordinate Clauses!.
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Quick Joke #21
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert. Lost..
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Quick Joke #20
What's Black and White and red all over. A sunburnt racial equality campaigner!.
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Quick Joke #19
I have three eyes, five arms and seventeen legs. What am I. A liar!.
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Quick Joke #18
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it. Nothing - it just let out a little whine!.
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Quick Joke #17
What do you call a happy mushroom. A fun guy!.
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Quick Joke #16
What's round and very violent. A vicious circle!.
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Quick Joke #15
Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party. He had no body to dance with!.
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Quick Joke #14
Which wizard works at a golf course. Harry Putter..
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That's Not Offensive...
Some guy in our class said this (actually he shouted it, attracting a few teachers): "I'm not a homophobe, you dirty faggot!" Not offensive in the slightest....
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Quick Joke #13
What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of a tree. Cam-en-bert. Cam on bear!.
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Among The Olive Vines
Among the sweeping olive vines, Hidden in a gloomy grove, Near the trickle of a bubbling stream, Sandstone emerges from the earth below.
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Quick Joke #12
What's the point of 'Fog Warning' signs on motorways. You can't see them because of the fog!.
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Quick Joke #11
The state of the Eurozone..
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Quick Joke #10
Why did the bull wear a bell. His horn didn't work!.
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Quick Joke #9
Why did the boat go to the doc. It was ill. (Sorry - that was awful!).
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Quick Joke #8
What do you call a cat that has eaten too much poultry. A duck-filled fatty puss!.
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Quick Joke #7
There are three walruses in a tree. Why did the first one fall out. It was dead. Why did the second one fall out. It was glued to the first one. Why did the third one fall out.
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Be Considerate!
Welcome to Opuss. This is a great app, which lets your mind do what it likes. However, please be considerate to other users: 1. Tag your posts correctly.
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Worst Roman Emperors
3. Commodus He loved gladiatorial games, so much so that he entered many of them and fought alongside the gladiators, who were all criminals and slaves.
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Euboan Wanderers
A short essay on The Origins of Myths, Gods and Written Languages By Beeglebuzz --- In the North-East corner of the Hellenic world lies the island of Euboea.
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Death Of 300
A fresh drop of rain falls from the mournful clouds, A storm of bloodshed and misery. Through layer upon layer of smoggy sky, Down to the withering plains below.
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Quick Joke #6
What's brown and sticky. A stick!.
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Too Many Europeans...
When Gordon Brown was asked "Where are all these Eastern Europeans coming from?" He replied: "Eastern Europe, I presume...".
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Quick Joke #5
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud on the other side and cross back over again. He was a dirty double crosser!.
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Quick Joke #4
I don't like lollipop ladies. They make me cross..
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I Love Sainsburys...
Stephen Fry quote: "I love Sainsbury's. Keeps the scum out of Waitrose!".
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Ode To Appledore
Echoing crashes of waves on timber, The boats are tossed as feathers in a breeze; The trawlers return from a day of labour, Yachts are sailing across the stormy seas.
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Quick Joke #3
What do you call a deaf dog. You don't. It's deaf..
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Quick Joke #2
Tippx is brilliant. Correct me if I'm wrong....
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Quick Joke #1
What do you call a debate in a sauna. A heated discussion!.
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