28 July 2012
We entered my room. Dimitri sat on the couch closest to the fire place. I sat on the chair closest to the bedroom, which was also the featheriest away from Dimitri. He looked at me curiously when I sat but he didn’t say anything.
I looked at Dimitri when he sat down, drinking in his presence. I was a drowning woman and nothing could save me. Nothing but the feel of his velvety skin against mine. I shook my head banishing such thoughts, one should never indulge in silly little fantasies. Nothing good can come from it.
Dimitri was staring at me intently. I wondered for a short moment if he would break the awkward silence that was now stretching between us. I looked at the floor then back to Dimitri, I had to look him in the eyes when I asked, to make certain he wasn't lying. But where to begin.
"um hi" I said lamely with a wave of my hand he chuckled at me "hi' he waited for me to continue. I didn't.
"Anna, look it can't be as bad as you think it is" he said as he stood, intending to come to where I sat. I motioned with a wave of my hand for him to stop. He did.
"How well do you know Count Ferson?" I jumped in headfirst
He looked surprised that I asked him. "ah" he stumbled obviously uncomfortable with the line of questioning.
"You don't need to worry, I already know" I said
"you do?" he replied
I looked at him, complete shock showing on my face. I can't believe it I thought to myself my dear sweet Dimitri in league with a monster like Count Ferson.
"Anna you have to understand the circumstances..."
"No, no understanding. You need to leave" I said motioning to the door "now"
"please let me explain" he said coming toward me I put my hands up "just stay away from me, I don't want to hear any of your excuses"
"Anna" he said in a pained voice
"No" I was on the verge of tears now "just...just go"
"You don't understand...." he began
I was shaking my head not really listening to him. "I had no choice. I needed the money" He said as he began to walk to the door.
"Everybody has a choice Dimitri" I said to his back " and I thought you said you had money"
"I do...now"
"So all it took for you to be a happy little rich boy was to betray me" I said sarcastically
"Betray you" he looked bewildered "Anna I would never" "oh really how do you explain it then?"
"I... Anna... that's a part of my past that I am still ashamed of"
"Past really? it was only a few days ago" how can he think that everything that happened is in the past? How can he expect me to forgive him?
"It happened years ago"
I looked at him confused, "did you like hit your head or something?" I asked now confused
"hit my..... Anna what are you talking about?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you?" I asked becoming annoyed now. Spending this much time with him, even if it's arguing, I won’t last much longer, already my will is bending to what he wants, I thought to myself.
"Yeah" he said "I think you do" he walked back to the room and sat in his previous chair
"Fine" I said taking a deep breath. Then jumping straight in.
"how long have you known Count Ferson?" he looked at me
"Please just answer the question" I said to him
"Since I was a boy"
"Right" I said my hands began to tremble
"how long have you conspired with him?"
"Once again since I was a boy" he was getting uneasy now
"Why..." I wanted to continue but my voice wouldn't work
"I never wanted you to know"
"Just tell me, I deserve to know the whole truth"
"He is..." he began "Anna please don't hate me" he pleaded
"He is?" I prompted
"I am..." he stopped again
"Just spit it out" I said
"my full name is Dimitri Ferson-Davenport"
I stared at him. Of all the things he could have said. This I never would have imagined. These two people one I despise with all me being and one I love more than anything are...are related.
"Father?" I asked
"Uncle" he replied
"is that why you do what you do?"
"It used to be, until I came of age I would do anything for him. And I did." he confessed. He looked at me noting the shocked expression on my face.
"There’s more" I stated
He nodded. "my parents died when I was only a child, and instead of me going to the church Ferson took me in, he raised me like a son, and I loved him like a father" he looked at me before continuing " I got the best education, money, privileges, anything money could buy I had. Including women. I fell in love with a girl when I was quite young just 17. I loved her. when my uncle found out about it he took her from me, he came in offered her money and she took it. I haven't seen her since"
"That doesn't explain what you're ashamed of?" I said wanting to get to the end of the story
Dimitri nodded then continued his story "after that happened I made it clear to him that I was done. With him, his money, the drinking and the women. He told me that if I left him I would have nothing.... He said he would let me go with enough money to support myself if I did one thing for him. He would let me go and we would act like we never knew each other. Never speak again"
"So that's why you did it" I said
"Yeah to get away, I didn't want to hurt anybody"
"but you did"
"Yeah I did"
I just looked at him
"He told me that the new church that was built had to be destroyed..."
I cut him off "you destroyed a church too"
"Anna I was a kid and I saw only one way out, so I took it" he said showing the first signs of frustration.
"A kid yeah. But you still knew right from wrong." I said, disbelief invading my voice making me choke up as I think about whether I really know anything about you at all.
"Do you want to hear the rest of it or not?" he asked
"Yeah I do, I want to know why you betrayed me."
"Anna I have never done anything to you. Why do you think I have betrayed you? Because of my past? Because that is something that I cannot change no matter how much I try"
Ok he was really annoying me now I thought to myself he's acting like he has no idea what I am talking about.
"You and Count Ferson..." I stopped
"We what?"
"He was...is....well trying to..."I began to shake harder than I already was
"Anna he was what?" Dimitri said concern crossing his face
"Buying...or I don't know how to put it.... giving my mother money...so that he...so...we..." I couldn't finish, just dropped my head and looked to my hands tangled in my lap.
"Oh god" Dimitri said figuring it out "he paid your mother money so he could marry you" Dimitri said shock clouding his face
"Yeah... and you..."
"Me?" he asked
"You were in on it" I said, not raising my face to him. I know if I look at him I'll throw myself into his arms.
Dimitri looked at me as if I was crazy, but I’m not I know I’m not.
"Anna I would never" Dimitri said standing again and walking toward me, I motioned for him to stop but he didn't he kept gelling closer and closer, until there was less than an inch between us.
"How can I believe you" I say finally raising my gaze his He reached forward and grasped my hand.
"Anna, I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life, I promise you with all of my being that I had no idea" Dimitri said.
I lost my train of thought when he said that he loves me I thought to myself. I gazed into his eyes, he gazed back complete honesty shining through his eyes. He was telling the truth.
"Anna luv, can you ever forgive me for my past and come away with me?"
I took a long look at him before answering "I can forgive you" I said to him "but you do need to tell me everything about your life someday"
"Someday, I will tell you every skeleton in my closet" he said
"Thank you" I said and I smiled at him.
Dimitri looked at me and smiled.
"What?" I said to him
"You don't even know do you?"
"Know what"
"How beautiful you are. And what you do to my heart every time I look at you"
"I’m not beautiful" I said
"You are" I began to protest "no argument you are beautiful" he said as he twirled a lock of hair around his fingers.
I froze. I couldn't take my eyes of his hand. I looked into his eyes. And I was lost in his gaze. He leaned closer to me, so close now I could feel his breath on my face. He pressed his lips to mine in the most earth shattering kiss I have ever experienced. The world fell away and there was just Dimitri, and Dimitri's lips, and his hand around my neck pulling me closer. He was holding tight, as if he was afraid I would run. I wouldn't run there is nowhere else in the world I would rather be than right here in Dimitri's arms. I knew right then that I was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him. I would follow him to the end of the earth and further.
~Ambitions; Part 9~ • Opuss № I