27 December 2012
is it a long distance relationship? the long distance part, yes, but the relationship part, you've got to be kidding me. i asked him if he thought i was weird for texting him even though i only saw him preform and then randomly found him on facebook. he said kinda. of course he said kinda. i mean what kinda boy would say no, of course not! that isn't creepy AT ALL! but then he also said he didn't really care, it was fine with him & i felt a little dumb and said cool. he stopped replying. i felt like casey, saying cool. i mean, even though me and alec's conversations are beyond boring (most of the time), i find him immensely interesting. & i really wish i could get to know him much more better, but quite frankly he shows the least bit of interest in me. & i don't want to have to change, why would i? he never asks anything about me. in fact he knows nothing about me except that i go to a tiny school, & that im one grade younger than him. it kinda sucks. he lives driving distance from me. we could meet up at a beach. but it takes two to make a decision. or so ive interpreted. i kinda wish he'd open up more. i like how he kinda explains things but then when i reply he just goes back to his one word verse: "yeah" or to make things quicker he types "ya". & that just makes me feel a bit down, you know? i get all pumped to talk to him. & i always hope our conversations will go swell, and they almost never do. it was fine in the beginning because i wanted to know so much about him. but he would never text me first. i would. and id do anything to meet him. no matter how awkward it gets. it's a small world. and i know that for a fact. because i saw him sing, live. in action. and we made eye contact. maybe he didn't feel anything. but i knew that he was purely magnificent. and i don't know how i found him, but i did it. and my goal, my priority is just to finally meet him. when he was offstage my friend urged me to go up to him. i wanted so badly to. all the excuses overpowered my confidence. his parents were there. i wouldn't know what to do. agh. one word could've made a difference. and this opuss is about one boy. who will most likely forget about me next year.
cool. • Opuss № I