19 April 2012
~This poem is about Depersonalisation, a mental illness that I suffer from where I feel disconnected from my body. A lot of people who smoke weed develop it, but I attained it sober. I want to raise awareness for it as it is a very unknown and misunderstood illness.~
These disconnected hands, They do as they please, I watch them moving With supernatural ease, I'm not controlling them, I'm a viewer of a screen Disconnecting me from these hands, These hands I want to redeem.
Move! I tell myself, But I only float, Grounded feeling gone, I'm as unstable as a boat On tempestuous seas, I ride without a grip On my own reality, Please just let me slip
Back to what's normal, Back to solid me, Where my body is controllable And my mind doesn't flee.
How I wish for normality All the time, How I wish for this illness To not be mine, But at any moment I know I will trip, Fall off of what is real And lose my grip.
I wait until the next episode, Knowing it will come, Knowing I'm its victim, Knowing I can't run.
These hands are mine for now, Dexterous and real, But I will always fear those moments, Those moments I can't feel.
Depersonalisation • Opuss № I