13 February 2013
I was bored?...
In the beginning, there was a noise.
Not a very loud noise, or even a very subtle noise. It was big, so big that it was heard throughout the universe, by any passing space-rock who had the decency to stop being a rock and to listen for once. It was like igniting hydrogen, only with less of a 'squeak' and less of a 'pop'. In fact, it wasn't really a noise at all.
It was more of a wave. A giant, loud wave of space dust and broken cutlery. This wave, was the beginning of something that most people call 'the universe'. As it flew through the empty nothingness, it encountered something that appeared to be stopping it. This thing was called Gravity. The wave was quite taken aback by the sheer rudeness of Gravity, so it began to shout. Now, this shout, definitely was a noise. It rang out across the whole of the vast expanse of nothingness, and unfortunately, attracted the attention of some unwelcome guests.
Nobody really knew who they were, which made sense really, considering that there was no one around to know them at the time. Some people have called them 'Gary' and 'Gertrude' or 'The marshmallows of destiny', but the majority of people tend to call them 'Sun' and 'Moon'.
The wave was none too happy about their appearance, and neither was Gravity. And so they hatched a plan. In order to balance out Sun and Moon's perfect sphericalness, they decided to create eight spheres themselves. This resulted in the destruction of The wave, and the creation of another, tiny little sphere.
Sun and Moon were not happy about this. Their spherical glory was at stake! So, they began to throw space rocks at the nine spheres.
This caused major cosmetic damage to the spheres. Gravity then proceeded to have an astronomical temper tantrum. It tied Moon to the weirdest-looking planet- Earth, and forced her to circle it for eternity. However, before Gravity could finish alining the sphere's orbits, Sun managed to sneak it's way into the centre of the huddle, causing Gravity to lose concentration. With a very loud explosion, sounding very much like smashing wine glasses, the orbits settled, and the resulting shockwave caused Gravity to become nothing more than an invisible force...
Alternative Creation Story. • Opuss № I