1 August 2012
Gangster pigeons take over Opussia?
Many of the city's important building have been overrun by Opussian's latest villains: Super Wedgie Man and his gang of gangster pigeons. Specially trained clown police have been working tirelessly since the early hours of this morning to reclaim Opussia for the forces of good. Unfortunately, they have yet to make any major progress, but have managed to take over the hotdog stall in Northern Opussian. Our reporter, Bethy B. Gerbil, interviewed one of the clown policemen: "So, how long do you think it will be before you take control of the rest of the city?" "Mmm... These hotdogs are really good! Hey, Bill! Pass me the ketchup! Oh. Hello. What was that?" "Um, I said, so how long do you think it'll be before you take control of the rest of the city?" "Bill, Seriously?! This is mustard. Mustard. Are you blind!?" "Um... Okay. Well, I'll be off then." As you can see, the clown police are working extremely hard to make sure the streets of Opussia remain safe for all. One building in particular, The Magpie monocle shop in South Opussia has recently become the base of all villainous deeds and missions. Goggle-wearing pigeons guard the building 24/7 and it has been rumoured that Super Wedgie man himself resides there. No one without the 'Gangster pigeon' mark is allowed within a 50m radius, so we have been unable to interview the villain. However, our secret undercover reporter managed to steal some blueprints from gangster pigeon meeting. From these blueprints, we have found that Super Wedgie man has been plotting to build a 'Super fun roller coaster'. Obviously, this is another of his evil schemes and the clown police have been investigating further into the matter. People from Opussia have been warned and advised to stay inside their houses and to start dancing if they see one of these gangster pigeons. If you do happen to find a pigeon, please contact the clown police or go to our website for more information.
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Note: Bananas not included.
The Daily Opusszette • Opuss № I