Forever Or Now

Chapter #9

I've been told earlier today that i will be going a week early. Not that it's gonna make much of a difference is it?! I had a dream last night that Mum came back to life and she held me and I could go out of the hospital and fly away with her. And know none of this happened. But of course none of that is really going to happen, is it? Mum is gone now and I can't change that. Proves that doctors can't either. See, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was in her 20s, and she had the chemotherapy and survived but it came back 12 years later, the year I was born. She battled it hard, and almost died but survived. However it hurt her so bad to be in there while me and dad watched her cry. She decided that if it came back, the doctors were not going to protect her, she decided to let herself die. So , 8 years passed and James was born but months after the cancer came back. Stronger than ever. The doctors told mum if that was her decision she had a lot to lose. She looked at us and decided for the treatment. But while she was through chemo, she died in her sleep.

I ate my BLT for lunch and asked if I could go outside yet. Dr. Dayton was passing through the yellow and blue corridors which stank of grapes an antiseptic gel. I asked him as he came in to take the cleanliness board down and review it to the NHS, which was looking quite good, my ward was clean, but not too clean. I asked if I could pop to the park for a bit, but he said I had to take my nurse with me (Nora). Fair enough. As he left Nora came in and Dr Dayton explained whilst I quickly flicked through the latest Cosmo that had been left on my bedside table and signalled for Nora to help me get into my wheelchair. I hurt my wrist while I pushed my body off the bed, but it healed over a couple of minutes ago. I was taken through the hall and outside when Nora received a phone call from my dad, telling her to take me to the local park. We were on our way there which was handy, but Nora asked why he told us, however he would not say.
I got my birthday cards today, by the way. I got some wooly sock and lip gloss from James and some clothes, make up and bits and bobs from dad. I rung my grandma in New Zealand and my uncle and auntie in Scotland.

We were now in the park and I was wondering why exactly dad sent us here. I saw a foot behind the water fountain, and a but of hair behind the benches. Maybe Cheyenne and Lola are here? I wonder why they're hiding though. I steered over to the benches and found Naomi, who got up, turned my chair around so I was facing the park and said happy which triggered dominos of my friends popping up from random places and singing happy birthday to me. I was so embarrassed yet overwhelmed with everything

Turn in turn I opened my presents on the soft green grass. This was the perfect location, and better than any spa day(might do that next year)! I got money, vouchers, clothes, makeup and sweets. I thanked them for it all and Nora whispered that I have 15 minutes till we have to get back for my stitches check up. Ewwww..... Noooo... I said thanks, and wheeled with them over to subway, where we got a sandwich/salad and a frozen yoghurt :) I had a bacon cheese and chicken one with mayonnaise and a toffee fro yo.

Soon it was time to go so I said thanks and goodbyes before I was rushed off into another stinky ward. today has made me realise exactly how much I miss my old life. the chance to see friends, hang out. But for now, I must live with it.