Positivity And New Age Thinking

I never realized how difficult it is to think positive when so many negative things are happening. Im broke, the small business i run is not doing well at all. Im feuding with my brother and his wife about house expenses coz they pay LESS than half of what i put in... probably the reason im broke. My mom refuses to take any side which bugs me the most considering we all live in the same house... I cant move out since im broke. I made a huge mistake in business by failing to register for the government mandatory housing fund where i must pay for my employees and they are charging me for payments i should have made SINCE 2007! Which in the first place they said its fine for ne not to register since its a snall business!! Unbelievable government clerks! All these years i ran a family business since 1998 that sustained my parents and 3 brothers who are now grown ass men, the youngest being 25. And til this day i still pay more than half of the house expenses where we all live with my retired mom! If my dad could only see how malfunctioning this family has become RIP dad!
I need to leave this set up. Im old and have nothing saved up. I have no career since i ran the family business by myself. On top of that this garment manufacturing business is failing since everyone is going to China for labor. From 23 workers im now down to 7.
For years i dreamed and wished that i be able to move to the states and be able to work and live there legally. All i got to do was vacation there which only gave me a taste of the life i dream of but then i had to go back home since i cant be an illegal immigrant.
So now to think positive i have to slam my head against the wall to dizzy myself and dream.
Ive been watching positive affirmation videos on youtube. Ive tried those downloadable guided meditation to relax me and clear my mind. It does work but i didnt imagine how difficult it is to think positive and be hopeful.

So.... Im chanting out to the universe! I want a great happy joyful life! I deserve it! I want a life that i live for myself. I want a life where i dont have to worry. I want success in my love life! I want success in my finances! I want to be at peace! I demand it! All my issues will melt away and solve itself! I want a life that i have always dreamed off! This will happen. I will get all these!