born49
I stick my hand in the incredibly cold crushed ice and water in the old Coke box in my Grandfathers tiny grocery store. I pass over bottles of Grapette, Orange Crush, Mountain Valley Water, and RC Cola in search of a 7 ounce bottle of Coca…
My wife will be watching her recorded shows (Dr. Phil, Biggest Loser, Judge Judy, etc.) on the TV in the bedroom. I will be watching some movie in the family room. She will walk through the family room on the way to the kitchen. She wil…
Things That Piss Me Off #1 My wife and I will be in line at the grocery store. We will be next in line for check out. Suddenly, my wife remembers something she needs. She tells me to go ahead and start checking out and that she will go g…
I think most people are married because they don't want to be alone. I wonder how many are married because it is magic? Can you imagine what that would feel like? Seriously, try to imagine it. How many couples do you know that you can, …
She asked me, "Do you think it is possible to love the same person forever?" I said, "Yes." She asked me, "Do you think I am that person for you? Your forever person?" I said, "I'm afraid you are. Even if you don't feel the same." She s…
“On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.” ― Michel de Montaigne, The Complete Essays
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes. William Gibson
He no longer wished to be dead. At the same time, it cannot be said that he was glad to be alive. Paul Auster, City of Glass
Never go straight. Always go forward.
She had plucked her eyebrows for him. She knew he came in on Tuesdays. Thus, begins a love affair.
"When fascism comes to America, it will pretend to eat grits." - Sinclair Lewis
Yesterday, like ever other day, I walked the dog up to the park and back. As we were approaching my house, Katie veered off the sidewalk toward the mailboxes. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. After all this time and she doesn’t get…
I have been alive in eight different decades. Sure, I was born just a few weeks away from the 50’s, and it’s only 2012, but still, it’s true enough. When I meet up with other incoming members of official old-fartdom, the talk generally star…
I had just downloaded an MP3 from the Internet. There it sat on my computer. Just a bunch of bits and bytes. If something happened to my computer, I guess it would be lost forever. I'm not very good at making backups. Then I thought back …
When my wife and I go through the drive through line at Taco Bell, she frequently insists that I ask for extra cheese on her bean burrito. I do so, but when we get home and check, her bean burrito looks exactly like mine. Does Taco Bell…
English Leather came in its own little wooden box. It looked kind of like what you would see in a cedar chest. When you took the lid off the box, you could smell the English Leather cologne even if you hadn't opened the lid and broken the …