5 May 2012
I often dreamt of my perfect world when I was little, how I wished it were real. In a way I've never changed, I often wondered if heaven would be like my world, a perfect place where life is simple and pure. A world of life and love no pain and evil. Ashley Webb was right you know when he said people turn to God in the end. They do, we all will....I have.
Its five months to the day since the doctor diagnosed me with having cancer. They said I only had a couple of months to live, three at the most. How wrong they were. Looking back now it all makes sense. The change in me... friends... family... life, it was all planned out. Every last thing happened because God wanted it. Every thing that ever has and ever will happen was planned by God.
When they told me I had cancer I didnt know what to do. I didnt know whether to cry or laugh or scream. I didnt feel anything at first. It was as if I was in a bubble and nothing could reach me or hurt me. But then the pain started and the bubble burst. I wasnt scared, just...it was like part of me was gone, like I was hollow inside. It was then that I turned to God. God filled the hollow and gave me something to hold on to when life got really bad.
It was then that my life changed too. Things began to get difficult. Simple things like lifting a box, opening doors, putting on shoes. At first I was annoyed that such simple things were so hard to do. After a while though I accepted that I couldnt do what I wanted to do. I had to wait and see what God had planned for me.
When things got really hard I used go up to the moor and just sit and watch the day go by. I could see for miles from there, all the hustle and bustle of the city, the quiet country villages, the lake with its castle and forest. All so wondrous and perfect in their own way.
It's strange. I never really noticed how beautiful the world truly was until it was too late. I suppose God decided to save the beauty to the end. Use it as a sign...a sign that the end had come...a sign that it was time to let go, to drift to a better place. Away from the pain, the anger, the darkness... to a place of light and love. A place where peace reigns and war has no meaning.
I can still remember my last day on Earth...it was so quiet and peaceful. I could feel God calling me, calling me to come. It was time to go, time to leave this world. I can still feel the numbness falling over me like thick soft velvet. All the pain had gone and it was time for me to go too. My time on earth was over. Gods plans for me had finished and so I closed my eyes and drifted away.....
~Brownowl2012
This is something I originally wrote 5/6 years ago at school when given the stimulus 'The End' and told to write in any form I wanted. I've kept working on it and changing things over the years but I've kind of got stuck as to where to go with it now or if in fact it's fine as it is. Any feedback or suggestions would be much appreciated :)
The End • Opuss № I