9 December 2012
So you have probably heard of the book and now movie, The Life of Pi. Well, I haven't read it, but due to this week's challenge from eddie12309, I feel compelled to write a bit about a day in the life of a non-Christmas character as well. :)
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You have no idea what it's like being a number without end. I mean, can you imagine? Having to go on and on forever? It's really freaking tiring!
And then there's all these people trying to memorize me. Blimey! Do they not realize I go on and on FOREVER? FOREVER?! Why would they even try? They pride themselves on knowing me up to my first hundred digits. Aw, well that's all nice and stuff, but it's not like you can USE me at that length!
And don't even get me started on the idiots who don't know HOW to use me. They get my digits all jumbled up and get mad at ME when they get the solution wrong!
I once had someone try to use me to try to solve the area of a trapezoid. Don't tell me that's not completely pathetic. The kid should've been bumped back to times tables.
Oh, and here's the real jewels. The people who confuse me with a dessert?
I don't think there could be a bigger difference.
I've heard folks say that they should be able to tell which is which, there's an "e" in pie. Well, how would I bloody know? I'm a number! I don't know the first thing about letters and I don't want to. I think they should just get to the basics, I'm not a baked pastry!
Besides, I'm allergic to apples! I once had an apple fritter, and I threw the damn thing up. I got rashes and was so twisted up trying to scratch that I actually got a few numbers out of order. I don't want to have anything to do with fruit after that, they all sound damned awful. So I find it obnoxious anyone would confuse me with a fruit-filled pie!
Some people say I'm irrational, a number can't eat in the first place. I say screw them, it's who I am.
A Day In The Life Of Pi • Opuss № I