12 November 2012
Oh my. There goes another nine hours of my life. Spent idly browsing the endless status updates and mildly entertaining pictures posted by random pages.
Click, chuckle, exit, scroll on. No new notifications, nothing to do, Ohlooktheresoneohwaititsjustapoke. A poke. A fricken POKE. No, I will not poke you back.
Switch over to my Hunger Games fan page. Nothing. Browse for a bit, hope a notification popped up on my personal page in my absence, switch back over. One didn't.
I really wanna read a book. Pick up The Fellowship of the Ring. Can't focus. Struggle, read the same sentences over and over, give up after a few pages. I can't focus. Oh, maybe it's because of all those hours I spend on Facebook BRAIN DEAD. The sheer intellengence of the book is just too much for my internet addicted mind.
Sigh. It's like a bad romance. I push it away, and it pulls back. And I go willingly as its poison seeps in and numbs me into deadly comfort. It's literally like a drug. I want it to change. I feel terrible about myself. I want to go out and ride my bike. It's a lovely summer evening and I need exercise. Oh no you don't, says Facebook. You're not going out. You don't spend enough time with me.
My gosh Facebook, you're just like a stereotypical girlfriend. Or at least how the internet portrays one. Do you want me to sit here with you and watch The Notebook?
No, I want you to sit here and watch the Facebook.
Oh, you clever-tongued devil...
So I sit there with the screen pixels boring into my eyes and turning my brain into a bowl of mush. I can almost see the Nyan Cats running around my brain to the electronic music. The words on the pages of a book feel surprisingly soothing to my eyes after that. If only I could focus enough to read them.
Time to go cold turkey on my addiction. I cut the Facebooks out of my life for forty days. 40 days! I learned to read again in the meantime. I still go without it for a day here and there.
It's had a surprising impact on my life. Relationship with God is so much better. I started reading and writing again. Still working on finishing things I start though, and that goes for reading and writing and just about anything else I do. I learned to say no to certain foods shortly after! Dang! That was a hard one for six years... it's like a drug thing, "Just Say No".
It is a drug thing. I was addicted to food. And lots of it being junk food. Now that I track my nutrition and calories, I was able to log a typical day three years ago and see approximately how bad my eating was. Here's my findings: I used to eat 2,500 - 3,500+ calories a day! I didn't even know it because when I was younger I had a metabolism like you've never seen and always stayed skinny. And I loved food. And I also played outside more. So, my health got better once my Facebook addiction was broken. Now it's normal to eat 1,200 or even less calories a day and I'm afraid to eat yams and pears because of the sugar... I got so carried away with my tracking app's restictions on daily grams of sugar that my mom had to tell me to calm down and ignore it.
IN OTHER WORDS: QUALITY OF LIFE = MAJORLY IMPROVED.
I have yet to lose weight. I'm going to stop trying to please my app and get the fat/protein/carb percentages just right while still trying to not go over in sugar and eating almost nothing but soy protein and vegetables.
Instead I'm going to eat like a normal person and just eat healthy choices. And eat less, and exercise. And stay away from too much fat. And carbs. And sugar.
Eat fun foods in moderation. It's the same with Facebook. In moderation. One status update a day. Share a picture, make someone laugh, post on my Hunger Ganes fanpage. Log off. I was on a bit much today, so I won't go on tomorrow. I'll get my school and chores done. I'll be ready for dance and my job on time. Facebook doesn't control my life anymore. And neither does food.
Now I have time to write stuff like this. I feel good when I don't go on Facebook. And I love whole wheat pasta.
My Rabid Love Affair (and Abusive Relationship) With Facebook • Opuss № I