10 June 2012
You have your mother's spirit and within days you overcame the odds. Breathed unaided then fed and thrived.
Your hand was smaller than my little finger. I shook as I caressed your cheek. Delicate limbs so hard for my clumsy hands to thread through clothes.
I watched other parents sit in front of machines attached to their baby. I felt guilty to be glad you were so strong.
Then your mum came home and together we would visit you several times a day. To feed, bathe and hold you. Sure you had a few setbacks but each day you got a little stronger and passed a new goal. But each night we had to leave and cry our way home.
Your brother and sister were delighted when they first met you. They had patiently waited to see what all the fuss was about. Just like you, they had to be strong. Sometimes I worry they had to grow beyond their years, a little too quickly.
After a few weeks you were ready. We went and bought you new clothes and thanked all the staff. But we couldn't wait to get you out of there and home.
When it was over your mum confided to me that she had believed I would either be taking her or you home. She thought one of you wouldn't be here.
When your brother and sister were babies I had to work and mum did most of the caring and I missed so many milestones. With you it's different, I've taken a year out to look after you and mum and your brother and sister. I've been with you every minute of the day, and despite some stressful moments have loved this opportunity.
That brings me to what inspired me to write to you. I laid you in your crib for your lunchtime snooze, but a bang gave you a fright in your sleep. You screamed and cried for an hour.
I felt so helpless and guilty that I couldn't comfort you no mater what I did. I walked up and down with you in my arms singing and cooing but still the tears came. Eventually cries turned to sobs and you buried your head in my neck and fell back to sleep.
Maybe I'm spoiling you, but I'm not the only one. Your mum, brother and sister also. You are our little miracle of hope. We are family and that's the most important thing in the world. No matter what it takes I will be there for all of you.
Braveheart Pt2 • Opuss № I