2 June 2012
I took my family away for the weekend, just got in the car and drove until we wanted to stop. We ended up hunting Nessie and seeing The Falls of Shin and had the best time in a long time.
It was a bit of a bump when we returned. I had to take mrs to get results of her post chemo scan. When we walked through the door there was two doctors there instead of one plus our counsellor. I feared the worse and I know my wife did too.
However, it couldn't have been better. The scan was clear!! :)
Been so happy to have that shadow lifted! Now we have to settle and prepare to get through the rest of the treatment, but at least in the knowledge it's now preventative work instead of battling.
Which brings me onto my point. On Monday mrs has her mastectomy. I know she is stressed, worried, fearful, anxious and scared about the op. but she is also emotional about losing her breast and how that will effect her mentally. She is a beautiful woman and will be no different after, but I don't know how to sincerely convey this and convince her without appearing false.
It won't make a bit of difference to me and I've tried to joke about it a little (she's used to me). I will feel empathy and hurt because she hurts but it will not change a thing about how I feel any more than a scar to her arm.
I know there will be the big reveal and she will be watching my reaction and listening to what I say. I'm so worried about what she will think I'm thinking that now I'm stressing myself that my reaction will appear forced!!!
Arrrggghh why do I over think things.
I just want to hug her and kiss her and tell it will be okay.
Half Way Through • Opuss № I