4 May 2012
Today has been a day of mixed emotions. It's only a few days until my wife's last chemo but that is hardly cause for celebration. Even though it marks an end to taking her temperature every hour and her being incredibly ill and in pain two weeks out of three.
While it is good that is over, in it's place I have to worry about the next ct scan and how she will cope with the mastectomy. I have told her I couldn't give a fuck if they chopped off her left leg never mind breast, but it isn't about what I say.
I feel helpless to help.
My moods are so changeable and we had a row tonight despite how Much I want to make her happy. There is so much to come, yet each day brings stresses for the now.
I love her so much and I don't like the way I am handling the stress.
Opuss № I