@GizMonkey

Jokes

What do you call a Nun with a washing machine on her head. ----------------------------- Sister-Matic!.

@KimaniForte

I Am...

I am. I am. I am. I am lost, But within a touching distance, Of my mothers grasp... I am walking, Without the knowledge of my fate... I am standing... Alone...

@gsoko

Whom we love best, to them we can say least. :D.

@laarns

Women Rule - Even Bob Dylan Approves

“I think women rule the world and that no man has ever done anything that a woman either hasn't allowed him to do or encouraged him to do.” ― Bob Dylan.

@afghanacid

Smut

Pull my finger; hear me fart. Exposed to air: smells so much stronger. I've shit myself, you ain't so smart. Breath it in, it lasts much longer..

@ijustliveandlove

Pessimist, Optimist & Realist

The pessimist see the dark in the tunnel The optimist see the light in the tunnel The realist see the train in the tunnel....

@Jatt

Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, "To my sandwich!".

@rfletcher04

Dogs

Just watched a dog toot the horn at its owner to come back in the car. Lol:) True story.