6 December 2012
Five years ago my Nan passed away, aged 95. Today would have been her 100th birthday. My Stepdad's grandad died recently and his funeral is today so you can imagine the emotions in the air.
So let me tell you how I feel. Dorothy Arnold was my great nan, my real nan died when my mum was 5 so I never got to meet her, so nan stuck on Dorothy.
She was a small, fragile looking but strong woman. Who had been through many things that I can't even imagine. I would spend hours listening to her stories, of how a soldier shot through her window in world war 2 , how she'd be a small child in world war 1, and how much she'd loved her late husband. My nan was a widow for, I think, around 60 years. She was a strong, broken woman. But the rock of the family.
I would sit with her, play scrabble (always lose) and watch countdown, she was amazing.
I find it magical when people like my poems, because they wouldn't be written without my nan. She got me into poetry, I can't quite remember how, but she did, as a child I won quite a few poetry competitions and the biggest prize was telling my nan and reading her the poems, she would cut out the newspaper clippings and I knew that if she was able to cry, she would have.
Looking back on when she died, I thought to myself, only 5 years off of 100, nan you could've held on it isn't that long. But now thinking of how much has changed in these 5 years, it certainly feels like a lifetime.
Sometimes I feel like my nan's spirit is with me, and I catch her up with all the gossip, we have a cry, a laugh another cry and then I fall asleep.
My nan was one of my best friends, I wish I'd spent even more time with her, I wish she could've seen me grow up, I wish she could've met Danny, I wish she could've met Scarlett, and Fred and Philly, I wish she could've seen how much better life is for mum now, but I think she knew, after all she died about a month after my mum left my dad. She was never told, but she knew.
If you've no idea how to imagine my nan, then imagine grandmother willow from Pocahontas.
I know my nan would be proud of me, I love her and miss her dearly.
I guess I should stop now before I turn into a blubbering wreck, happy 100th birthday nan, rest in peace xxx
Dorothy • Opuss № I