28 January 2013
Just then, I could see Hillary grinning in the middle of the crowd like she was expecting Alex to cancel the cancellation of their engagement. Why does that piss me off so much? I stared at Alex from below the stage. He looked nervous and troubled. Bet he doesn't want to be engaged to anyone.
"I'm aware that most of you have seen what I ... did. I'm also aware that my engagement with Hillary was made public a few months ago," he started of. My palms started to sweat. I felt Jennifer walk up behind me and stood beside me.
"Ah, that was too bad. I though you and Lexie looked good together. Lexie seems like he likes you too," she sighed beside me. I looked at Jennifer as Alex continued to stall like a pro.
"What am I supposed to do at a time like this?" I asked Jennifer. She shrugged.
"I dunno. Do you like Lexie?" she asked me. I blushed.
"It's not that I like him," I argued and Jennifer looked at me, "I don't hate him either," I blushed, " I just think that... he's ... nice."
"Do you think you would be able to stand having him beside you for the rest of your life?" Jennifer asked nonchalantly. I unconciously smiled at the thought. Jennifer grinned.
"Then what's the problem?" she asked. Right. What's the problem? It's not like I'm eager to find my own husband. Plus, Alex has good looks, attitude, and he seems nice. What more can I ask for?
"... so my engagement..." Alex continued. I speed walked to the host, borrowed his mic and stepped up the stage. Alex looked at me and a relieved smile appeared on his face.
"So my fiancé from today onwards is Lizzette. That is if she doesn't mind..." He asked for my approval. I lifted the mic up in front of my mouth.
"Of course I don't mind," I smiled with mock confidence which only Alex noticed. Then I heard someone clap their hands followed by the rest of the crowd. I looked at them. The crowd was a mix of reactions. I could see Hillary biting her manicured nail, girls gritting their teeth and lots of glares directed to Alex from boys his age. Many of the businessmen and their wives seemed amused by the show while a few showed their dissaproval by staring with judgmental looks.
I held in a laugh as Alex escorted me off the stage and out the room. The both of us speed walked outside to the parking lot. Alex grabbed a key from the staff and opened the car door for me. I went inside and sat down quietly as Alex got in the car and shut the door. For a minute we just sat there looking into the window. As soon as we managed to process everything, we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"Holy shit! I can't believe that just happened!" Alex exploded, holding his sides. I laughed along until there were tears in my eyes.
"What just happened looks like a friggin weird ass romantic climax from some movie!" I continued in between laughs. Now that I think of it, Just 2 days ago, Alex was a bully who just annoys the fuck out of me.
"Hey Liz,"Alex said, suddenly serious, "What would your aunt think of this? You're engaged, you know? And is this really okay?"
"My aunt wouldn't mind. And of course it's okay. I'm just helping you out, and it's not like I have anything better to do. I'm not particularly important to anyone. So even if something happened to me, it wouldn't change anything or hurt anyone," I explained to him. He frowned.
"Why are you saying that? You always act like that. You never care about yourself. You always act like you think you're not important. You should value yourself more," he lectured, "marriage is a big thing you know. You should do it with the one you love."
"Marriage IS a big thing, but I don't have much ahead of me. I don't have to care about these things. So I could just be your temporary fiancé and you can break it off as soon as you find a girl that you actually want to be engaged with. And I kinda like you so its fine," I laughed. Alex sighed heavily.
"What kind of guy do you take me for? You're my fiancé and I'm fine wth it. I would never abandon you after I got you into this mess. If I did, you would have to deal with a lot of bullshit, and that's why I need to take responsibility. Besides, I ... care about you," he said.
"Huh?"
Alex gave out a huge sigh and said, "What I'm trying to say is... I love you, like like you."
The moment he said that, my heart did a small jump.
"H-how? what? why?" I blushed. He smiled seductively at me and grinned.
"I don't know honestly. It's just the first time I felt this way towards a girl. You're fun to hang out with and you're a nice person. I thought that it wouldn'nt be all that bad to be stuck with you for the rest of my life. That'sbthe reason I asked you to marry me," he said, fidgetting with his hair.
"I-I like you too. But I don't know if it's love or not," I said nervously. Alex looked at me with a cheerful smile.
"Why wouldn't it be love? If you like me then you should be able to love me in the end," he laughed. I raised my brow at him.
"I know I like you and stuff. You're fun to hang out with. But I don't actually know you yet. How do I know that you're telling me the truth when you told me you love me? You hang around celebrities and I'm just trying to go through life. I could be just your plaything and you'll eventually find me boring and... throw me away," I explained bitterly.
"I know it's not easy and stuff and I can't actually show you how I feel by doing anything. That's love I guess. It's basically jumping off a cliff while hoping that that special someone would catch you."
"That's simple enough. But if you change your mind, feel free to just break off the engagement," I sighed. Alex looked at me curiously.
"Why do you always act like that?" he asked almost angrily.
"Like what?"
"Like that! You're always degrading yourself. Always putting yourself last and talking as if you're a tool and that you're not important! Even about this engagement! You kept putting my opinions first and giving me all the control! That's basically asking me to use you for my own convenience! How do ou expect people to love you when you're degrading yourself like that?" he lectured angrily. I tensed.
"But it's true! I'm the least important person in the world. I have no family, no friends, no one relying on me. No one actually cares what my opinions are so it doesn't matter. But you, you know a lot of people, you have a family and people who appreciate your existence. If I'm hurt it wouldn't hurt anyone else. But if you're hurt, a lot of people will worry. That's why your opinions are more important than mine."
"Stop talking like that! I care about you! I'm relying on you! If you're hurt, I'll be hurt too! So please treasure yourself more," Alex half begged half scolded me. He looked like he was about to cry. Why?
"Why? I won't bring you any good. Why are you making that face for me? Please don't make that face, just smile like you usually do. You shouldn't have to feel pain because of me. So please stop."
"If you want me to smile, then just stop treating yourself like that! It's not cute!"
"Well what am I supposed to do? It's a habit!" I blurted. My vision blurred as tears started to surface. I pulled the knob and opened the car door. Just then I felt Alex's strong grp on my wrists, causing the bracelets to be out of place. I felt my heart drop as I remembered what were on my wrists.
"W-What are these? Scars?"
My Own Seat : Part 13 • Opuss № I