28 May 2012
Come closer children, gather round, And hear what I have to say. Though this story may seem odd to you now, It will all make sense one day.
When I was one year below twenty, And my knees did not creak like a tree, A young lass and I took the train to Edinburgh, And there an odd sight did we see.
Such a fine day it was, with the sky so blue, That we took a short stroll in the park. And there it was, that terrible bird, The Toast Crow, hark!
It stood on the grass just three feet away, Glaring with its black beady eye. We froze in our steps, held in our breath, And prayed that us it did not spy.
With a frightening caw the Toast Crow lunged, Its terrible claws reaching out. Seizing its prey, the demon bird Another caw it did shout.
Its claws squeezed tightly with a deafening crunch On a slice of wholemeal toast. With its razor sharp beak it violently stabbed; Thank God it wasn't us for lunch!
In horror we watched as the Toast Crow began To consume its starchy meal. There was no way, I thought, that the bird could manage To eat the entire deal.
Yet the Toast Crow continued to decimate its prey, Crumbs scattered all around. A sorrier slice of wholemeal toast I doubt you could have found.
Then suddenly its beak began to slow, The hell-bird seemed to tire. I had been right, the slice was too much For the evil crow to devour!
Loosening its grip on the tattered remains The Toast Crow did retreat. With a mighty caw it leapt into the air And its great wings began to beat.
The Toast Crow flapped off into the sky, And we wondered at what we had seen. That black bird of death, with its unbridled rage, Is the scariest sight I have ever, ever seen.
So when, my children, you leave this house, Remember what I have told you so. If you walk in the park in Edinburgh, Look out for the evil Toast Crow!
Toast Crow • Opuss № I