26 February 2013
Derek grinned at everybody. He looked at their rosy awe struck faces. The clapping died down and Anna began to speak. 'Thanks for attending everyone. And special thanks to our guest of honour Derek. He's helping mentor the jam business and make it a success. This fundraiser is to help with a cause close to Derek's heart, cricket. The team need new strips and equipment, so let's all have fun, enjoy the food and dig deep!' she shouted happily. A loud whoop issued from behind her and the room broke into tremendous applause. Derek could hear Matthew clapping and shouting like a neanderthal over everyone else. Stupid dickhead. Acting all bravado! Music began playing from a rickety old DJ box and children were running all over. Derek had to jump back as smelly sticky faces brats almost marked his new jeans.
Anna had totally made that crap up. She'd never mentioned any of that to him. A little rattled Derek debated pulling her to one side and telling her he wouldn't be used like that. But at that precise moment Anna bent over the table to talk to someone and he had a front row seat to stare at her tits.
Disgruntled, he ogled the view. He chose his appearances and events, not nobodies from a local village. Matthew looked in Derek's direction and he quickly diverted his eyes. He turned around and found himself with his face almost buried in a pair of ginormous saggy tits.
'Hi Derek.' said the owner of the wet sandbags. He looked up and total horror travelled across his face. It was a girl from his class at school called Lyndsey. Or as he remembered her being called 'Loose Lyndsey' the local bike.
She was horrible then and even more so now. Horrible straggly bleached blonde hair scraped in a high ponytail with very prominent dark roots visible. She was cuddly but chose to wear clothes two sizes too small, the material cut rolls into her middle. Garish thick make up covered her face, layered orange powder had been slapped on with a trowel. Her eyes were small and watery and too close together. The thick blue eyeliner drawn around her eyes accentuated how small they actually were. She had cheap and nasty polyester clothes on plus open toed wedge heel shoes what leant to the side when she walked displaying a huge purple bunion and thick yellow toenails. 'Lyndsey, nice to see you' Derek lied.
She ran a yellow fingernail down his chest. He gulp hard and felt himself shudder. 'Hmmmm. You're looking hot. You've definatley blossomed.' she shrieked grabbing his biceps and squeezing them. He could smell her hot dirty breath on his skin. It smelled like she'd literally ate cow shit. It was excruciatingly hard to breathe without feeling sick. Derek gulped, looking around the cricket club for an escape. He saw an open door into the lounge area.
'Listen Lyndsey, I've got to dash and find Anna I need to inform her of something. You're looking lovely by the way. I'll definately buy you a drink when this is all done.' he lied to her. Derek was hoping she'd be long gone by the end of the night. He quickly scarpered through a side door without a backward glance and ended up in the old lounge area of the cricket ground bar.
Again nothing had changed. It still had the same ancient tables and patchy chairs. Same beige wallpaper with old photographs adorning the walls. The windows were open and the cold crisp winter air breezed through. Derek could smell the BBQ drifting through. He was starting to feel hungry. All of the party goers were mingling around outside underneath a giant shabby looking gazebo. He walked over to little window and pulled the net curtain open a little way. Children were squealing with delight on the bouncy castle whilst parents enjoyed a cool drink or two with their food. A small game of cricket was In progress with about 6 children running wickets. There was a band playing underneath the gazebo and many stalls selling raffle tickets and bric a brac. Matthew was turning sausages on the BBQ whilst Anna was squirting sauce on fluffy bread buns and handing out the food to hungry revellers The hum of conversation and laughter filled the air, making Derek feel completely isolated. This was his home town yet he'd never felt so awkward and miserable in his life. All through school he trundled along quietly feeling geeky and desperate to escape. Cricket was his only release. He was living his dream but coming back here felt wrong now. Derek scratched his chin roughly. He knew what he needed. But his stash was gone. Derek marched outside to confront Anna 'Can I have a word please?' he asked
Matthew eyed him suspiciously. Anna looked at her husband, half shrugged and followed Derek through the open door. He closed it behind her with a little bang. 'I'm just a bit pissed that you used my name for this event without me knowing.' He told a stunned Anna
'Without you knowing, what are you going on about. Derek I texted you a few days ago about it and you replied. ' she argued back.
Derek fished around for his phone and quickly scrolled his texts. It was there clear as day. Anna mentioning the fundraiser and his reply was LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
'Look Derek what you do behind closed doors and in your own time is your business but if it effects anything in my life then that's it, finished.' she told him.
Derek fumed. He must of been high on coke.
'Look why don't you head home and sleep up. The farmers market is early, I'll be there to pick you up at 4.30.' Anna informed a red faced Derek.
'Well at least I can relax for the morning and start later on in the day.' he said more to himself.
'Oh Lord.' Anna said exasperated. 'Derek its 4.30am! You don't listen at all, we've got to be really early to get a good stall. Honestly London and being famous had addled your brain!' she laughed.
'You better be on time. Behave yourself tonight.'
It was more of a warning than a statement. Comprehension dawned across his face as Anna walked away. She knew he took drugs. Derek felt very ashamed. He slunk out the side door to his car. The drive home sent him into thoughtful mode. How had she known? Anna was technically a nobody, why should he care what she thought?
He loved her. That was his only answer. Pulling up on his parents drive he vowed to be more proactive for Anna. He had to have her.
Derek opened the door and flung his keys on the side table. They landed next to his parents phone. He had a brilliant idea.
'Hello Colin. Yeah it's Derek. I need you to organise some publicity for this jam venture. I'm talking a journalist and a local news crew. We've got to get this on the map.' Derek told his agent.
'So it's going well then? Colin questioned.
'Extremley.' Derek replied. Keeping it short would stop Colin asking too many questions. 'Listen I have to dash I've got loads of flyers to sort out. Get that sorted yeah. It's Elton Square Farmers market. Cheers Colin.' said Derek replacing the handset. Derek rushed upstairs and got his laptop. He set it up downstairs in his fathers room, he turned the TV on but the volume was low. He made a big pot of tea whilst his laptop loaded up. Derek padded back into the room with a tray laden with sandwiches and biscuits. Making himself comfy he opened up an application and began tracing a template for a flyer. Derek's phone began to buzz. It was Chloe wanting to talk. He turned the phone to silent and continued to cut and paste pictures and choose fonts and colours for his flyers. He added Anna's email address at the very bottom. Stopping briefly to refuel he tore chunks from his sandwich. Derek ate soundlessly and continued to work late into the early evening. At 8pm he was happy with his work. Derek hooked his laptop to his fathers printer and set 400 to print. As the paper whizzed in and a neat pile of printed flyers landed on the other side, Derek felt a flourish. He was going to prove Anna wrong. He left the machine to finish up and he went upstairs to run a bath. Using his mothers bath oils he sunk deep into the water filled claw foot tub. His career had given them a beautiful home. It was still another few weeks until their return. All the drugs and alcohol had blotted his memory so much so, that he couldn't remember. Derek made a mental note to stop. After a good long soak, Derek put his Paul Frank lounge wear on, made a cup of cocoa and bundled up all of his flyers from the printer tray. He packed a bag with his hat scarf and gloves and a spare jumper in case the 4am weather was ultra cold. He went back upstairs and jumped into bed. There was something comforting about a hot bath, fresh pyjamas and bedding. Derek snuggled down and fell into an easy sleep. It was only 9pm.
The alarm blared at 3.30am. A sleepy Derek awoke. Slightly groggy but excited for today's adventure. He had no headache to speak of or sore throat. He actually felt quiet fresh. Splashing cold water on his face, he watched himself in the mirror brushing his teeth. Even with dishevelled bed hair he was still hot. Derek worked on his hair, spiking it like a professional and slapped moisturiser on his face. Bounding down the stairs he made a huge bowl of cereal and poached eggs on toast. Whilst drinking a giant mug of tea he checked his emails. Colin had organised a TV station journalist to attend as we'll as publicity on the local radio. He was thrilled with this. There was umpteen emails from Chloe, ranging from loving slushy messages to angry ones about his lack of contact. He couldn't be bothered with Chloe's dramas of late. If he was honest with himself he was getting a bit tired of her. The age gap was proving a bit too much. But the sex was mind blowing. There was another email from that Quentin Barrass. Shit. He had completely forgot to read the first one. He set an alert for him to read it at lunch time. The final email was from Tina. The email had big bold type stating that the mediation was cancelled. Good he couldn't be arsed with her, he'd just let his lawyers t
8. • Opuss № I