17 July 2012
We went off to see Spiderman
And I loved it a lot;
I like myself a superhero
And Andrew Garfield's hot.
But, like our amazing Spidey
When his transformation came,
I don't know of my own strength
(Much to my ex's disdain.
I learnt a valuable lesson
In that relationship;
Guys don't like being emasculated
And losing an arm wrestle to their chick.)
Anyways, I was mesmerised
As Spidey swung around New York,
In fact all that watching
Was proving as thirsty work.
My aunt comes with provisions
When we go to the pictures,
Little mini popcorn bags
And juiceboxes by the pitcher.
Anyways, I reached down
And much to my surprise
Grabbed the box with such force
That juice squirted into my eyes.
Next it shot out down my top
And all over my denim jeans,
It really wasn't funny
It looked like I had peed.
My cousins were beside themselves
Doubled over in two
At silly sticky Sophie
Who didn't know what to do.
I was KO-ed, defeated,
In a juicy apple mess.
The juicebox assassin
Had truly done its best.
Juicebox Assassin • Opuss № I