17 May 2012

In the 2012 Olympics

Northern Ireland should win gold

For tourist confuddlement.

We're a riddle, so I'm told.

For starters, we talk too fast

About so many things

And use phrases they don't understand,

Local, colloquial-ings.

Such as craic (not crack

Though pronounced the very same way)

Meaning general banter,

Merriment throughout the day.

The common phrase 'Are ye gettin'?'

Means 'Are you being served?'

And 'Are ye away?'

Is a nice sending off, well deserved.

People greet each other

'Are ye well? Fer yer lookin' well!'

And 'Give us a piece.' means 'Give me some bread.'

Incase you couldn't tell.

'Wee' means 'little', a 'tanner' is a 'tenner'

And when we say 'lawd' we mean lad

And if someone says 'I'll put yer windees in!'

Or they'll 'Knack yer melt in!' it's bad.

'The dole' means 'to go on benefits'

And if you hear 'Tay' it's 'tea'.

All alien phrases

To you but not to me.

At the Balmoral Show

You'll hear farmer speak boi.

'Ciow' means 'cow',

'Ciat' means 'cat'

And 'one o' them yokes' are their toys.

'That looks more Protestant.'

Means 'Ah that looks better.'

And someone who's annoying you

Is often termed a 'melter.'

If you go wandering down the Falls

You're Irish with a shamrock green,

But march on down the Shankill

And your a Brit 'GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!'

So in my Norn Iron dictionary

I think I'm almost done.

Oh, and if someone threatens to 'knee-cap ye!'

My friend, you'd better run.

DelilahOlympic Gold • Opuss № I