21 May 2012
'Right,' said Pudgy Polly As she woke on Monday morn. 'I'm sick of being pudgy And my trousers getting torn
When I have to sit down Especially on the morning bus And not being able to get back up, Causing such a fuss.
The folks in the office Always laugh at my wide frame. For the summer they go on diets, Perhaps I should do the same?'
So after struggling off her kitchen chair And changing her trousers (now ripped) Pudgers put into action Her brand new health kick.
She started off her morning With a cup of green tea And a bowl of fresh strawberries Minus the usual dollop of cream.
Then she got on her shoes and walked to work To burn off the extra pounds, But she hadn't really thought it through It wasn't easy, as she now found.
At 12:50 she finally arrived At work all sweaty and late And quite perplexed because as she set out She got stuck in the garden gate.
'This is not acceptable Polly!' Shouted her boss Mr Li. 'You're never ever on time Usually because of the queues at Micky D's.'
'I promise it won't happen again.' And with a grumble he gave in. Lunchtime, our dear Pudgers thought As drool dribbled down her chin.
But to her dismay she now found It wasn't a cream bun and tea But salad and mountain spring water. Healthy, naturally.
As she began to walk home at 5pm Her tummy grumbled and groaned. 'Don't worry my dear,' she told it. 'We'll get something when we get home.'
8:30 in the evening Pudgy got through her front door. 'This new health kick Is really quite a bore.'
But to her surprise and horror Much worse was to transpire. At the sight of her new dinner Polly began to perspire.
'Vegetables!' she cried 'We'll be having none of that!' So retrieving a bunch of leaflets From underneath her cat
She punched a number into the phone With her sausage fingers and said 'Sucks to a bloomin' diet I'll just have a Chinese instead.'
Pudgy Polly • Opuss № I