22 July 2012

Up watching the news on a Sunday

Before we head off to church

The weatherman pops up on the screen

And my tummy begins to lurch;

Wall to wall sunshine in England

And highs of 24 degrees

And if they're lucky

Tomorrow it'll be the thirties.

Alas at home and in Scotland

It's a much gloomier place;

Lots of thick cloud and warnings

For perhaps 60mm of rain.

We're wrapped up in a blue ribbon

Which stretches from the Shetland Isles

Right down to the North tip of England

Then stopping, I'm sure that made them smile.

There'll be nothing left of Fermanagh,

Madmen paddling on lilos through Dundonald,

And never mind the Olympics; in Belfast

The underpass has a swimming pool covered.

So as bad weather warnings are issued

It's soggy here without a doubt.

Dang and blast the jet stream of England!

Let's get our snorkels out.

DelilahSoggy Pants • Opuss № I