7 June 2012
Right! Where have you gone?
It's been almost a week!
If you don't turn up soon
I'm going to call the police.
I'm really starting to get the vibe
That you're not so keen
On covering my wee tootsies.
I've changed my ways, they're fresh and clean.
You've tried to get away
With leaving me for someone else,
But that was a fail and a half
I've got the other part of yourself.
The right foot sock (or is it left?
With you I can never tell.)
Has pledged to me it's loyalty
You should too, you may as well.
Look, all of this is really
Getting quite absurd,
Just come back home to my sock drawer
And I won't say another word.
Fine then. I'm through with you
And your sneaky hiding ways!
You can rot at the back of the washing machine
I'm sick of the endless days
Spent hunting for your sorry arse.
So I guess you won't come back.
Come by tomorrow to collect your things
But I get custody of the cat.
I'll send the papers over,
I guess our partnership's no good.
I hope you're happy with that new foot
And it gives you all I never could
But just so you know, in case you hadn't
Thought of it before,
You're an odd sock now, so I get the last laugh.
You can cry yourself to sleep in that new sock drawer.
To My Sock • Opuss № I