History educator, who would rather have his nose in a book
Jealousy is one of the 7 deadly sins. In the bible God says he is a jealous God. Does that ultimately mean God is a sinner. Or are the 7 deadly sins wrong?.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside... I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
A friend sent me this, I had to re-post it here.
Some poets once had no chagrin, All internet bards with thick skin, By day and by night, Rude stanzas they’d write: Folks called them the wired Loony Bin..
There once was an old man named Larry, Whose face was exceedingly hairy. When sitting and shaving, His wife would start raving That waking to stubble was scary..
There once was a girl from Japan who lived in an old garbage can. When asked why she did, she raised up the lid and said,"Good housing too high in this land!".
I have a dog named Polar Bear, So come in my yard if you dare, He'll run up to you For a quick pet or two, And his tail will wag through the air..
From an ancient Egyptian papyrus A professor translated a virus It was rather terrific For an old Hieroglyphic His computer was cursed by Osiris..
While singing a song in the snow I remembered a time long ago when stories of old were told in the cold and the list'ners would freeze just to know.
There once was a woman from St. Jude, who rode her horse in the nude. She galloped too long, and unless I am wrong. You expected this rhyme to be crude..
Roses can sometimes be Red And Violets are generally Blue For it's not in the Rhyming But all in the Timing That makes a dumb Limerick True.
Now if V over P be inverted And the root of P be inserted X times into V The result, QED Is a relative, Einstein asserted..
There was a young maid from Madras Who had a magnificent ass; Not rounded and pink, As you probably think--- It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass..
There was a young lady named Slater Who married an old alligator. The night that they wed They climbed into bed, But rather than mate her, he ate her..
I've been studying all night and I'm tired, But I can't sleep because I'm so wired. So I'll play on the net 'Stead of going to bed, And my tests will seem a quagmire..
Sylvester found out his wife, Lisa, Had employed a mean underworld geezer To kill him – how bad. But he really got mad When he noticed it charged on his Visa..
“Now, Cubs, don’t those humans look chunky?" Said a grisly bear, hirsute and hunky, "And I bet they taste sweet, But do not touch the meat- It’s genetic’lly modified monkey.”.
Two hookers named Rose and Marie Were drowned in a whirlpool at sea. Now the other girls try To remain safe and dry On the land -- to avoid whirled whore three..
The Darwin debate never ceases, For he wounded the pride of our species When he made you and me Share the family tree With those monkeys that love to fling faeces..
There are three thousand girls in distress In a basement at USPS, Where the postmaster hides All the mail-order brides That were lacking a proper address..
As for sex education, it’s wondered If our school system’s totally blundered, For the textbooks these days Just teach two or three ways-- And Norwegians learn more than five hundred..
A coven of witches in Crewe Makes a very fine Anglican stew: Boil 'em up, let 'em thicken And they taste just like Wiccan, But you get them in bulk, by the pew!.
There once was an artist named Saint, Who swallowed some samples of paint. All shades of the spectrum Flowed out of his rectum With a colourful lack of restraint.
When you fail to get much approbation Or even a “friend confirmation,” In the absence of flatterers Or even of chatterers, What's left then besides hibernation.
There was a young man from stroking. Caught coughing his guts up from smoking. When asked why this was, He said it's because, I think that it's better than choking.
There once was an old man of Esser, Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser, It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And now he's a college professor..
I've heard of a man from Peru Whose limericks end on line two.
Mary had a little lamb, the midwife had a fit.....
As an adult, I reserve the right to act like a child!.
I yearn for the dear love to find me with my heart and my soul and my might for darkness has closed in upon me I see day, not as day, but as night..
I know she's your sister, but I can't pretend, when it comes to lovin' I have no friends. I got me some action that I can't defend, when it comes to lovin' I have no friends!.
Karma means I can rest easy, Knowing all the people I treated badly, Had it coming.
Give me but strength to chew, Each mouthful two and thirty times precisely. Read Dante through and through, And I shall hold that I am doing nicely, Breathing a pure, bucolic, bland, Virgilian air.
I've just gained access to a residential library, which has over 250,000 reference works. I think I'm in heaven :).
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth..
Anger cannot be dishonest..
Mary had a little lamb, She ate it with mint sauce, and everywhere that Mary went, The lamb went too of course..
Full fathom five thy father lies; Of his bones are coral made; Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade; But doth suffer a sea-change; Into something rich and strange..