1 March 2013
Dear --------,
I'm hurt by so many things right now. Life seems to move faster than ever before right now, but sometimes I sort of wish it would just take a breather and allow me to catch up to everything that is unfolding before me. But I know it doesn't work that way. It seems like everything that's terrible in this world just keeps crashing down on me, but I can only handle so much. A few weeks ago, my best friend left me. She just told me she didn't want to talk to me any ore and walked away. She said she wanted what was best for me. But I don't exactly know how this is something that could benefit me in the long run. So here I am. She's the fourth person to leave my life, even though they'd always told me they were never going to leave my side, that they'd always be right there with me through every hardship that'd come my way. I believed them with every inch of my heart. Every time someone new came into my life I'd say to myself, "They're different. They're gonna always be with me. They truly care." But I always end up losing the hard way. I always end up the one who's hurt the most, or more likely the only one hurt. I just get tired of it you know? I don't want to go through this anymore. I'm tired of a broken heart. So am I better off dead? Am I better off a quitter? I ask myself this question a lot. I wish I wouldn't, but it somehow manages to creep its way in during late nights like right now. I just can't sleep. There's too much pain that has been built up within me and I can't ignore it any longer. I don't mean to lay this all on you, but I have no one else to talk to. I think it's cause of my personality. Perhaps it's been me all along that's been the source of my pain. So be it then if it is. I've come to the conclusion that I could care less anymore. I know I shouldn't say that, and I can just hear you telling me not to say it, but it just might be true. I really think it is. What's killed me more than ever is this girl I've met. She's so amazing. I've never met anyone like her, and we nave actually been talking for quite some time now. But she recently told me she could most likely be leaving for Arkansas. I can't even begin to describe how I feel right now. It's unbelievable. I've been through quite a lot of difficult mental and physical situations and trials, but I'm almost to the point of giving up. I don't know how much more I can handle. And with no one being there for me hurts even more. I feel bad exploding all of this on you, so I suppose I'll close. I hope everything is okay with you. Tell everyone I said hello and that I miss them. Perhaps I'll write to you again sometime soon.
Love, A
Dear --------, • Opuss № I