12 December 2012
Sorry it's short but I had important homework!
•Chapter 20 - Forever• •Kai• She's going to ask again. I can tell. I can just see it by the way she's shuffling around on the sofa. It doesn't matter though, I'm not letting her see. It's only going to make things worse. She won't understand. She never does. She's closed off her mind to any reason I have for being violent. She just assumes it's because I have problems. I'm not saying I don't, but she doesn't know the deeper running reasons. The ones flowing through my veins. She'd never get it. She'd make a fuss, call me a monster and then run out of the house. Typical Ammi, always dramatic. I guess I can't blame her though, I've screwed her emotional side. She sat there drawing over the Aztec pattern of her leggings with her index finger, pretending to be interested in the shapes. "I'm not doing it" I answered before she could ask, knowing that the question would come sooner or later. She was immediately standing in front of me, pleading and begging for me to give her one last look into my mind. "Kai please! I'll do anything! You have to let me see". "I don't have to do anything" I told her bluntly, trying to look past her at the television, but she picked up the remote and bravely switched it off. I gave her a deathly glare. "I was watching that". She ignored me, and got down on her knees in front of me. "Kai I'm literally on my knees now. Please" she pleaded with me again. She placed a hand on my right knee and fiddled with the fabric of my black jeans, my upper torso still unclothed - I couldn't be bothered to go all the way to my room and get a fresh shirt, I'd rather stay room temperature and shirtless. "Ammi, I'm not doing it" I told her, a soft smile on my face. I think I was past letting her down easy. Now it was more of a game to me. Having her beg and plead for something I had power over was nice. Sort of like old times, yet toned down to the bare minimum of torture. This was more mental than physical. I could cope with inflicting mental torture, although it was clear which was my preferred style of violence. I liked to see the pain right in front of me, hear the cries. Just thinking about it sent a lusting shiver down my spine. This weak little girl sat in front of me, telling me she'd do anything for a look inside my head, and I was passing it down? I could have her do whatever it was I wanted. Anything. Provided she's still here after seeing inside. "Kai, you have to trust me, I'm not going to judge you". If she wanted to see that badly, then why not let her? All she has to do is promise she'll stay. "On one condition" I began. "What's that?" She queried. "You have to swear that you won't run off. You'll stay here. With me. Forever".
•Ammi• Forever. My whole entire life, spent with Kai. On one hand, he's changing, and becoming more caring, understanding and loving with each day we spend together, and on the other, he could snap back to angry Kai in moments. One wrong move, and I'm dead. "F-forever is a long time Kai" I stuttered, beginning to question my strong desire to see inside his mind one last time. He leant forward in his chair, bringing his face close to mine. "More like not long enough". I couldn't tell from his tone whether he was threatening me or being genuine. I had to take the risk though. I needed to know everything. The full story of Kai-San Tucker. If this was the price, then I had no other choice but to pay it. I'd pay in diamonds and gold to know what he's hiding. Whatever it is, I know it's going to make or break me, for good. If it makes me, I get the good Kai, the one who loves me and looks after me every day. If it breaks me, I get beaten and violated by him, every day, every night, for forever.
•Soul Eater• • Opuss № I